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Thursday, June 01, 2006

For every action there is a reaction

In my previous post, I was talking about going beserk when my girl wets the bed at naptime. Now we usually wake up from nap about the time when hubby comes home from work. So occassionally the moment he walks in the house, he is greeted with the scene of a grumpy sleepy old lady carrying a pile of sheets, a wet crying girl and another crying baby who just woke up and is not happy about being ignored.

The other day when I wrote the post, hubby's action was like this. He came in, took off his tie, set his briefcase down, removed his shoes, washed his hands, then goes quietly to my girl to help her take off her wet clothes. Then he takes her to the shower to rinse the urine off her, takes a new set of clothes from the cupboard and helps her put it on while talking gently to her. "Its ok. Next time try to tell mummy you want to go to toilet to shh shh ok?" Whenever I happen to walk pass him, he gives my shoulders a gentle squeeze and say "Its ok. I know its hard." After that he picks crying baby up and says "Come to daddy!" He does all this despite having had a rough day at work. I know because he told me about his day afterwards. Whats my reaction to that action of his? Woohoo! He is the man! I love him to bits and pieces for being so wonderful. My frustration goes away (after a while). I pick baby up to hug and kiss (as baby was struggling to find mummy. Poor daddy!) Then I go and prepare dinner happily for everyone while feeling bad for my girl.

Sometimes however, I get this action from the hubby. He frowns. He tells me he has a bad day and thinks he can come back to some peace and quiet only to be greeted by more chaos with his wife shouting at his daughter and the house in disarray, sheets hanging over the furniture everywhere to dry. He tells me to have more patience with the girl, in front of the girl. When baby cries harder for me, he tells me that happens because I spoil them thats why. And what is my reaction to this action? Even if I may not say it aloud, I'm thinking "Yah, you try to do this and see whether you can remain patient. You think you're the only one who has had a hard day?" I could go on and on with the negative train of thoughts that goes through my head. I go and prepare dinner with a scowl on my face and during dinner when baby spits out his food and my girl plays with her food and get them all over herself, the table and the floor, I become even grumpier and so does he and we wear black faces whenever we pass by each other. And should he pass a remark about how the girl isn't feeding herself because I have not trained her well..... a words war will follow :P

Lol! This is a just example but it happens. The way we act towards another, be it our spouse, our co-workers, our friends, relatives and children really matters. You can influence how other people react to you simply by changing the way you act towards others. I was writing about my different reactions towards the way hubby acts towards me in a specific situation but this is actually a reminder to myself to act better towards those that matter to me because how I act will elicit different responses or reactions from them. So watch it MG. Watch how you behave all of the time as you can influence your surroundings and ultimately your own day and happiness simply by changing the way you act towards others!

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