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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Why Women Nag And Men Don't Listen

Because women like to talk (must say a few times to get the point across mah) and men like to pretend they are the strong, silent, macho type. Hahaha.

We women nag because the men don't listen and when we nag, they stop listening altogether. Its a vicious cycle, I tell you!

Do I nag? Yes I do. But only to my children. Not to my husband. At least I don't think so. (He may think otherwise since his standards are very different from mine and we operate on quite different wavelengths.) What he considers as "nagging" may just appear to me as "telling". Lol! Besides I feel that men are very good at tuning themselves off when we nag so I don't do it. Its a pointless exercise.

Why do I nag? I suppose its because I feel I have to say the same thing over and over again to get the message through. Sometimes I do sound like a broken record. I do it in the hope of reminding the children of things that I feel are important. I read an inspirational quote somewhere that "It is easier to bring up a child well than to fix an adult." How very true that is. So I better bring up my children well so they won't need fixing when they grow up.

Speaking of which, personally, I feel that I need a lot of fixing myself and its hard to do so when you're an adult. (I'm not saying that my parents brought me up badly). I did however lose a parent at a very young age of 10 and my confidence, self image etc is seriously lacking. Sometimes I'm such a timid mouse. My hubby sometimes asks me why I put on my best behaviour for strangers but I shout at him so freely? (I roar like a lion at him :P)

He is often at the brunt or the receiving end of the bad side of me. He says that the people close to me should get the best but he is getting the worst. Poor thing. So sorry, dear. Its true isn't it? Sometimes we put on our best behaviours for strangers but the people who are closest to us who should really receive our best side gets to see the ugly side of us simply because we're close, familiar with them and feel completely at ease with them. Strange isn't it? Strange but true.

Back to the subject of nagging. I really shouldn't nag so much at the kids though. Sometimes I do it not for the noble reason I mentioned above of trying to bring them up well but I nag because "I'm plain fed up!" I'm fed up of saying the same things over and over again with no results. And so I nag. "Keep your toys", "Stop playing with your food", "Come here now!", "Don't tear your books", "Stop fighting!", "Stop playing with the water","Stop jumping on the bed", "Don't climb on the table" blah blah blah. Thats part of my daily nags. My only nag to hubby is out of concern for the kids safety "Oi! Be careful with the kids lah" is probably the only time I "nag" him. Hubby doesn't have to nag the kids because he sees less of them. (another reason why men don't nag perhaps.)

Recently I overheard my girl scolding my boy. "Baby! *Scold. Scold. Scold.* How many times must I tell you!" and baby just went right on playing and pretended not to hear her. Hahaha. They're starting the stereotype behaviour young and a surefire sign to me to go easy on the nagging!

"I'm fed up!" is really such a poor excuse of a reason for nagging at the kids. I should really stop nagging and try to reason with them instead. I find the best time to do that is at bedtime where I'll try to give them their "lessons" on "why they shouldn't be doing this or that or why they should be good and not naughty". I also try to read to them lots of fables and moral storybooks about good behaviours and manners. Hopefully these calm chat sessions sink into their heads more effectively than nagging.

So.......do you nag?

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