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Monday, July 20, 2009

Dawdling Child

My girl loves to dawdle. She really takes her own sweet time to change her clothing, brush her teeth, wash her hands, do her school work etc.

In my exasperation, I've done what I am not supposed to do as suggested by many parenting books and articles. I .... yelled at her "Why are you always so slow!?" and now.... as suggested by the so many parenting articles and books,.... it has become self fulfilling.

She is constantly wanting my attention. She wants me to feed her. She wants me to repeat the words she says. She wants me to repeat the words I say to her. She wants me to scratch her back before she goes to sleep. She wants me to sit and watch her do her homework. She wants me to play with her after she completes her homework. I believe her dawdling is another way of calling for my attention. I really don't know why she craves so much attention.

I really don't know what else to do. I've slowed down... looked her in the eye when she talks, stopped what I was doing so I can listen to her better etc but she still seems to need so much attention. Much more than my 5 year old boy. She is 7.

In an unrelated funny incident, I taught both of them to sing Happy Birthday twice while washing their hands... to get the boy to wash longer and to get the girl to speed up. It worked at first but after a while, the boy was back to just swishing his hands over the soap and water and rushing out of the bathroom while the girl would sing Happy Birthday happily at least 3-4 times. One good thing though, she has very good hygiene. She always makes sure she brushes her teeth and gargles her mouth real clean. But it just drives me crazy, the time she spents slooooowly doing these things.

She is always the last to be ready when we are going out and definitely the last one to finish her meal every time. She is also always one of the last ones to come out from her classroom and she doesn't run out like the rest of her classmates, she strolls out sloooowly after slooooowly packing her bag. Even her teacher complains to me that she does everything in slow motion.

I don't know what else to do. I have given her the attention she craves, praised her and tried everything thats positive and finally I can't stand it anymore and I go back to yelling "HURRY UP!" I've tried the positive "You can do XYZ after you finish ABC., ok sweetie?" but it almost always never happens and then I end up yelling "Look you can't do ABC because you took so much time doing XYZ! Don't you understand that!!!" I constantly feel like Mrs Jekyl and Mdm Hyde.

Does anyone else have a child who dawdles? How do you deal with it? Can you share please?

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