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Monday, July 30, 2012

Raising Independent Kids

I have not been feeling well for the past 3 weeks. First I was down for two weeks with some virus that my son passed on to me. After recovering for 1 day, I fell sick again. This time it was chicken pox, passed on from my dear daughter to me. I had adult chicken pox.

It has been a tough 3 weeks. Despite being sick, things around the house still needed to be done otherwise there will be no meals to eat and the family would not have clean clothes to wear. The kids have been good. They have been helping me to cook the rice, to wash the dishes, hang the clothes, wipe the tables and shelves, sweep and mop the floor.

I realized that the trick to raising independent kids is to close one eye. Being sick and down with fever, I was too tired to hover around them checking their work so not only did I close one eye, I closed both! All I could do was lie down and give instructions and to my surprise, it was done. They helped with the housework and did their own homework without fuss and they did it rather well too.

When I was down with really high fever, I closed both eyes as the man and the boy pottered around the kitchen to make fresh juice and cook porridge. Of course, they left a wet mess on the kitchen floor but I was too tired. I didn't see it, not with both my eyes closed.

I only saw the cute things they did. Like when the boy asked me "Mummy, can I button the clothes so it will look nice?" when he hung it up. "Sure", I said and the next day when he was in school and I was keeping the clothes, I had a big smile on my face despite the fever when I kept the clothes and saw one little school uniform hung on the clothes line all nicely buttoned up from top to bottom. That's so sweet.

That is how I discovered how to raise independent kids. The trick is to give them small tasks they can handle and then leave them to it without hovering around giving instructions. Trust them to do it and they will. 


  1. totally agree with you, helicopter parenting creates kids who are unable to do even the simplest tasks

    1. Actually, I'm a lot like a helicopter mum accept I was too sick this time!

  2. That really gives me some thoughts to ponder. I shall take note of this and close one eye too. :)

    1. Normally, I would hover and correct them. That's really bad. This time has really thought be a worthwhile lesson, falling sick was a blessing in disguise. :)


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