Why She doesn't Like School

"Mummy, I don't like this school until Standard 6"

Thats what my girl told me. When I asked her why last week, she said it was because she didn't like the teachers (because they were all so fierce) and because she has no friends (because she doesn't know how to converse in Mandarin like they do). Most of her friends can speak Mandarin.

This week when I asked her why, she said...

"Because school is so long."

Haha. In fact, during school orientation, they had informed us that this is a big transition for the kids from kindy to primary school. School hours are very much longer, school premise is very much bigger etc. So they asked us to prepare the kid by bringing them to the school to show them around, talking to them about the longer hours and informing them where exactly to wait for us when picking them home. They also informed us to let the child know that you will sometimes be late so they won't get upset if you are. They also encouraged us to talk to the kids about school. I must add that for some kids, there is also the language transition or barrier to overcome. (Parents who have children going to primary school next year or in the coming years can take note of this).

Extra school activities for my girl's school started this week. I am glad I didn't sign the girl up for any. If she thinks school is long now, it would be even worse if she has to stay back till after 3pm.
We have however arranged for her kindy teacher to come in to speak to her in Mandarin a few times a week to help her during this transition. We don't have anyone to speak to her in Mandarin at home so we are getting outside help for just one or two months. So far its been good. She likes to practise speaking with her kindy teacher and she is comfortable to ask the kindy teacher about phrases in school which she heard and does not understand.

The kindy teacher gave her an assignment to ask her friend for her name and taught her how to ask in Mandarin. She came home with the name yesterday. Her next assignment is to make more friends. Her kindy teacher also teaches her how to ask the school teacher when she wants to go toilet and other simple terms etc.

We are a bit late in teaching her conversational chinese but hopefully with her kindy teacher's guide she can become more confident speaking and start to understand the school teachers' instructions. Quite often she comes home and tells me, "teacher say must do this and this and ..... but I don't know already." She doesn't quite know what she is supposed to do. Even the Malay and English teachers give instructions in Chinese! So it is important that she can understand it otherwise she will continue to feel lost in school.

I think that if you are sending your child to Chinese school, you should prepare them by making sure they understand conversational Chinese and not only written Chinese. My girl is fine in reading and writing but she can't understand spoken Chinese. This is something we had overlooked due to our own indecision on whether to send her to Chinese school right till the very last minute.

So far, all my girl did in school is sing songs, do coloring and origami (no books or timetable yet at this point) whereas her little brother in kindy has started on homework. Very strange. She showed me some worksheets they did in class and it was really simple. Sort of like a revision to guage the kids level of knowledge. It had simple ABCs, plus drawing curves and lines. However, occassionally they had to copy some things the teacher wrote on the board. That involved a good knowledge of chinese writing, otherwise you cannot write as the words are quite difficult so I guess they expect you to have a good grasp of the Chinese language but not other things?

Speaking of boards, my girl was really excited about the overhead projector that the teacher used to teach them in class. "My teacher stood on the table, then she pulled down this long paper and then she taught us from the computer!" she said excitedly and then added "The computer told us a story in Chinese but then I don't understand it." lol.

Monday Blues

Yesterday they had assembly in the morning at my girl's school so they start school 15 minutes earlier. We didn't know this (must have slipped us since they announce everything in Mandarin) so we sent the girl at the usual time.

Daddy saw many parents entering the school, so after dropping her, he decided to chase after her. Luckily, because when they got to the classroom, it was in darkness and no one was around. Everyone had assembled at the hall. So daddy took his girl to the hall and left.

That was daddy's account. Now this is her account.

"Mummy, I cried at school today. I cried a lot. Daddy took me to the hall and after he left, I couldn't find my class. Later an older student brought me to my class. My class teacher asked me to sit beside her because I was crying but her voice was not soft and kind. Maybe her voice is just like that, I don't know."

We're slowly getting into a new routine now. Hopefully we feel more settled by the end of the week. How's everyone else doing?

First Week of School

Day One
Daddy dropped me and the girl at school and left to send the boy to kindy. She looked miserable at first but fortunately she was seated next to a cheerful boy who started playing rock, paper, scissors with her and she cheered up considerably. Anxious parents were allowed to peer into the classroom but as soon as "lessons" started, we were chased away. So we all sat at the canteen. The canteen was crowded with parents and it looked and sounded like a market.

My girl's class teacher looks unapproachable and impatient. She looks the typical fierce type of Chinese School teacher. Even the parents are afraid to approach her. Haha. I saw that some of the other class teachers were more symphatetic, kind and nurturing towards the new kids and spoke English to some of the kids who had trouble understanding. To me, that is the better way of helping a child to settle in. Just our luck.

When the kids came out during recess, I showed my girl her regular seat for break time. The school canteen is small so having a regular seat helps the little ones from having to fight with the older ones to buy food. We were told that since the canteen is small, quite often by the time the little ones get to queue up to buy food, recess is over. So priority was given to the little ones to have catered food and a regular seat. They had bun and milo on the first day.

A majority of the parents were English speaking professionals. Everyone exchanged phone numbers and shared fears and anxieties. We were drawn together with a common thing. Our kids. We made quite a lot of new acquaintances. There are 7 Std One Classes with about 40 students to a class.

I did not have transport home so I had to wait at the canteen till school dismissed! Yawwwwnnn. There was nothing to do since class was in session. I was certainly not going to stand outside the class and be a nuisance to the teachers. So I sat in the noisy canteen where some mothers looked like they were having a party, chatting and laughing loudly. I had my lunch there and packed some lunch for the family. The food looked quite reasonable and food preparation looked clean enough.

We were informed to teach the kids where to wait for us so that we can find them when school dismissed. We kept on changing our minds about where she should wait. The school tried their best to have a good traffic management system but still it was chaotic. They gave us conflicting instructions too. One moment the kid had to wait here, next there. It was all very confusing for the kids.

Day Two
Parents were not allowed into the school compound anymore accept during break time. I did not know this so I had not prepared my girl for it. When I dropped her off, the guard stopped us at the gate. I wanted to show her how to get to her classroom which was a long way ahead. "Tapi dia tak tahu" I told the guard but he did not relent. "No. We will show her", he insisted.

So I let the girl go in alone to the lobby. She looked totally lost. The guard was ushering some other Std One kids to their classes but he missed her out! Finally another guard saw her loitering by herself and shouted at her to go with him. I saw her looking very reluctant (and I am sure it is because I had taught her not to go anywhere with strangers). The guard went and sort of pulled her along but he was back out in a minute. I don't think he showed her all the way to the class. He merely pointed the way.

I was told by another mother who had arrived earlier and gotten in somehow that she saw my girl standing outside the class alone, afraid to go in. So she guided her in. The same mother told me that another lady had gotten quite vocal outside and scolded the guards and teachers for not allowing parents in. "Its only the 2nd day!" she grumbled.

There were a group of parents still loitering outside the gate and the headmaster chased everyone away. "What are you all still doing here? Go. Go home." he said "Your child is attending school, not you." lol.

My girl was afraid to go to the toilet for the first two days because she did not understand what teacher said about going to toilet. She also did not know how to pull the longer flush for the squating toilet. Oh! My fault for not teaching her these living skills! So I showed her how to go in by herself and how to flush afterwards and told her the equivalent words for "going to toilet" in Mandarin.

So now, she goes to recess, the toilet, and then line up outside the class after that.

They had fried noodles and chrysanthynm for break today. I just watched my girl nearly choke on her noodles from afar because she is a slow eater and she was trying to eat fast (because I told her to do so) and she wasn't used to eating fast. Haha.

There is 40 or more students in my girl's class. The school has 7 Std One classes. The head had informed us that we should go and inform the teacher if our child is weak in Mandarin. So I go up to the "unapproachable" looking class teacher and informed her in my broken Mandarin that my girl does not speak or understand Mandarin. I give the teacher the benefit of doubt and hope that she is kinder than what she looks.

Going home is of course chaotic like the first day. After picking up the boy at 12.15pm, we went straight to the school and had to queue till 1.15pm. By the time we got home it was 2.00pm when in actual fact we are only about 15 minutes away from the school.

Day Three
We dropped her at the gate with no incident because this time we had instructed and shown her how to get from the gate to her class.

They had fried rice for break today. Parents are allowed to come in during break times for the first week. The girl was fine by now but I just couldn't resist coming to watch the kids. Its quite fun watching the kids. I try to observe without interfering.

We had worked out the logistics of dropping the girl off in the morning but picking up is still a problem.

Day Four
Hubby sent the girl on his own in the morning. At break they had a hard boiled egg and a sausage. I watched the kids struggle with their hard boiled egg. Haha. Many of them looked at it not knowing what to do. Some of the smarter ones helped the others break it.

Although I had thought my girl how to break a hard boiled egg and help me make egg sandwich before, she still stared at her hard boiled egg for a while. Haha. Later I found out it was because she didn't like it.

I knew the girl had been eyeing some nuggets and wanted to buy them on her own so upon seeing that the queue had cleared, I gave her a dollar to buy. She was so happy. She gave the man a dollar and got back 80 cents. Then she wanted to keep the 20 cents in her coin box. I allowed her to have one nugget and told her that I will take the other home. "Please remember not to eat my nuggets mummy", she said. Haha.

The kids didn't need us now. All of them looked fine. The standard one kids these days are all very well prepared. Hardly any cried.

Day Five
Dad dropped the girl off at school before work. A system has set in. Thats great.

They had nuggets, chips and orange juice today. Not exactly the healthiest of foods but it made the girl happy.

There is more confusion in picking up the kids again. We had been told all week to ask the kids to wait for us at diffrent locations but the location has been changed on Monday. Hmmm.. I don't think the girl knows how to go to the new location. It involves going down two different sets of stairways. Even I was confused and got lost a few times. Will have to wait till Monday to see how things goes.

Otherwise, we are all settled into our new routine by now.


We have been told that there will be very little or no homework for this first 3 weeks. So far the kids are doing simple revision ABCs, coloring, singing, origami etc. So, we haven't been tested yet on the homework load which Chinese school is known for. ;)

What is my girl's conclusion about the first week of school? She doesn't have any friends because she can't speak Mandarin to them. She doesn't like the teachers because she does not understand what they are saying. She thinks she won't like the school until Std 6! Omg. Haha. She is afraid that she will be beat by teacher. She had already saw one teacher walking around with a rotan. She is afraid that she will be beaten even if she tries her best but makes a careless mistake. Looks like the culture of fear has already set in.

Other posts I wrote today:
A Healthy Mom is a Happy Mom
Countdown to Chinese New Year

Ist Week at Kindy for First Time

My boy is attending kindy for the first time this year. He is 5. On the first day, his daddy accompanied him since I had to be at the primary school with his sister.

He was beaming all the way. He was happy to be in school. It makes him feel important, I think. He likes the idea of having a teacher, making friends, doing homework, having food breaks etc.
He complained that his daddy was disturbing him in the class by taking photos of him. Haha.

On the second and subsequent days, I was able to be there for him. He was still beaming all the way. I saw that he followed instructions very well. He wanted to bring tissue papers for his friends who cried. He sang the songs they taught him happily. He smiled at his teachers and said Good Morning and Goodbye to them. He said Hello and Goodbye to his friends and proudly proclaimed to me that he has 11 friends now. Haha.

I wonder when all this novelty will wear off for him. Hopefully not. Anyway, I am glad that he really likes preschool. I would have a real headache to have to deal with tears at two different locations for two different kids at two different times throughout the whole week. So fortunately at least one kid is happy and feels at ease. Phew!

Primary School Orientation for Standard One Students

This is a belated post as I have been too busy to publish any blog post. In fact, the next few posts are all belated posts too. I have all these blog posts stuck somewhere in my head. Haha.

We attended school orientation for the girl who is in Standard One in a Chinese School this year. The orientation was over two days. The parents are separated from the kids. The kids have their own orientation and the parents attend talks, fill up forms and pay fees.

The first day was mainly talks by the heads of school and teachers. 4 hours of talks in Mandarin! Fortunately I could understand about 70% of it. Hubby could only understand about 1%. It was quite tiring to have to sit through 4 hours of talks in Mandarin. Phew!

The second day we had to fill up forms and pay fees. School fees and books came up to RM350. Ouch! Oh and we musn't forget about the donations must we. We're in a Chinese School. During the talks the head reminded us that we are a government assisted school not a fully funded one, so parents have to pay for electricity bills, maintenance and expansion etc. Hence, the frequent requests for donations.

When handing up forms the class teacher asked us upfront for the donation forms. The lady in front of me mumbled that she didn't have it ready. "Bring it on Monday then" said the teacher. Another mother came to me and asked me to translate the form to her. "Sorry, I don't understand it too and was just about to ask the teacher", I told her. I saw a few people donating RM50 to RM100 so we also followed. Ouch again!

The parents sat in a classroom to fill up the forms. We all looked like we were taking an important test and it felt that way too. We were all anxious. Hahaha. One thing I noticed. Form filling appears to be the mother's job. The mothers sat down and filled up the forms patiently while the dads gathered around in groups and chatted!

During orientation, my girl did shed some silent tears. I saw her eyes were red but she held back her tears and tried to be brave. "I don't like the school. I don't like the teachers. I don't understand what they are saying." she said.

On the second day, we were told to give the kids a dollar to buy food stuff at the canteen. She was happy with that. She bought a packet of fishballs which costs a dollar, using up all her one dollar allocation. :)

However, we decided to cater food for her to help her settle in easier. The school canteen is not very big. During recess which is broken up into two sessions, half the school will rush to buy food. The older ones have no problem but the little ones have to fight in the queue and by the time they get to buy their food, recess is over.

With catered food, all she needs to do is go to the same place with her name and number or it each day and eat whatever is offered for the day. She can learn to buy food and fight for a place to sit later on, all in good time but there is no need for me to rush to teach her too many things for now during this transition period from small school to big school, from English to Mandarin.

I'll write about their first week at school next week.