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Tuesday, March 22, 2005



Forgiveness

Once upon a time, someone I care about betrayed my trust. Ouch! It hurt me very much then. I couldn't sleep for weeks! I was 7 1/2 pregnants then so not being able to sleep made me worry about the baby and that made me even more sleepness! What a nightmare!

Well, its people you love who has the greatest power to hurt you the most. I mean, afterall, if you didn't care two hoots about that person, you wouldn't feel hurt in the first place now, would you? I decided to forgive that person. What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is... letting go, really letting go and NEVER allowing it to hurt you or your relationship with that person EVER again (this means no bringing it up, especially not in times of anger, now thats true letting go).

So how do you let go? Before that, you must first come to terms with the hurt and the one who caused the hurt. Ask all the questions you have, cry, shout, rant and do whatever it takes to get it out of your system in other words COME TO TERMS with it. You are entitled to that.

Forgiveness is... not forgetting. They are two very different things. Even until now, I still think about that betrayal. It still mades me sad BUT I will NEVER bring it up again nor will I dwell on it and allow me to cause me more pain. Its in the past, gone now, burried, dead, kaput! Allowing a past wrong to continue to hurt the present and the future is indeed a very stupid thing to do. Thats letting go... Maybe in time, I will forget but probably by that time I would also have forgotten a lot of other things!

I am happy I found out about the wrong and actually thankful to the person who told me about the wrong. Yes! Because knowing about it actually turned it into an opportunity, an opportunity for me to get this obstacle out of the way and move on to concentrate on other more important things. I am grateful the 'cat is out of the bag' so the person would no longer have to keep this secret from me, thats so unhealthy for this person's wellbeing. So between the bliss of not knowing and the pain of knowing coupled with the better wellbeing of this person, I choose the latter.

Don't understand what I'm talking about? Nevermind, this post is for me. I only have this to say, If you have hurt someone, confess it, then do whatever that is necessary to help the person you hurt get over it, then move on. Its bad for the soul to keep quiet about it. If someone has hurt you and is remorseful, forgive that person, then move on.

16 comments:

  1. I believe time is the best to learn forgiveness..sometimes even I shout, cry, ask oso can't get the answer...anyways time will cure the hurt..If u really wanto get out of the sadness..

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  2. mg is very very very wise.. yeah ppl whom we care about and place our trust in are those who can hurt us the most. people make mistakes.. so i hope i can be like you.. forgiving towards others :)

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  3. Part of forgiveness is not letting it affect the relationship, and that is so very hard to do.

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  4. msau, I feel that if you have to shout, cry and ask and still not get any answer than the person is not remorseful for their actions and perhaps shd not be forgiven less they do it again.

    Munkit, Eh? Got rare praise from the self-confessed spammer. Better go and frame up this comment adi. Ciao!

    fishtail, me thinks it can be done and the relationship will be stronger than before :)

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  5. yes, can forgive but cannot forget...the wrong will remind me again and again not to trust the person anymore but sometimes like tis very suffer la coz wat if the person is someone you rly care for?

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  6. Hahaha, MG, if only I can tell you what I had to forgive and live with....But then, I can't tell anyone. Yet, I have to live with it. Hmmmm...I am not making sense either. Abuden, life does go on.....And whether we are going to be happy or sad or mad, it is our choice. So, I choose happy.

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  7. next time i must try not to hurt others i love.

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  8. autumn-music, can trust again but got little bit of nagging doubt lah....

    5Xmom, me too.

    munkit, better not hurt that class rep. ;)

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  9. While forgiving is easy, forgetting is hard. That's what's happening to me.

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  10. Very chim ah.. MG..!! But hor.. for me.. some ppl just cannot forgive lah.. !! see them wanna slap their muka.. so how..??

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  11. quite chim also..... food for thought.... this is what blogs are for :p

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  12. Mystic, forgiving is hard, forgetting is even harder.

    MrsT, Slap loh! Your ex-employee izzit? Hehe.

    Narrowband, If it sounds chim that means you've not been put in that situation before lah. Lucky you.

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  13. Aiya.. MG .. you so smart one..!!! yes lor..!! especially one muka assam..!! and another muka terajang..!! hahha!!

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  14. Not very de chim, but I have gone through this and well, we are still close friends after that.

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  15. mrst, wah got two ah??

    Jason, thats good.

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  16. MG: True lor. I've gone through that wif my ex lor. While I have forgiven him long ago but I cant forget what he did to me.

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