When you have two kids...

This mommy wants to hear my experience as a mother of two. She wants to know what it was like initially and how did I cope with a newborn and a toddler. I checked my Mothering Times blog and found that I had written so many posts about this. This must be my favourite topic. Hahaha. Here are the links to the posts.

• "How many kids shall we have, honey?"
• Getting Pregnant is Hard Work
• Life with a newborn and toddler
• First time parents coping with a newborn and toddler
• How to make sure your firstborn accept the new baby
• Caring for two young children without help
• Bedtime routines when you have two kids
• Life with a three year old and a five year old
• Sibling Love
• Birth Order Dynamics

Since I've written quite a bit about it before, I won't revisit those areas which I've mentioned. Instead, I'll like to add here about what fun it is to have two kids. My husband and I would like to have more kids but we can't due to my age and health. So, we are happy with our two.

Our two kids are the best playmates to each other. We often hear them talking nonsense, playing silly games and giggling or laughing hard at their own silly jokes. This is one thing that my husband and I can never be to our kids. We can never be the kind of playmate they are to each other, no matter how hard we try.

Of course they fight all the time too but they also support each other and are the best of friends. Sometimes they "gang up" against mommy but that is just one way of them supporting each other. They challenge each other and compete with each other but they also encourage each other too and I think the best way to teach a child to share is to give them a sibling.

As parents, I find that (now that the children are older) we actually have more time for each other (our spouses) since the kids are such wonderful playmates for each other. We don't have to worry about entertaining them since they can entertain, play and fight with each other. Haha.

We try to be fair to both of them but I do think that the eldest child by default usually gets extra time, attention and new toys and clothes. Still, we will always try our best to be fair to both.

On love, there will always be enough love to go around for all our kids. I believe that the more kids you have the more love you can give and receive. However, I do think that it is also the parent's job to try to make sure that our kids remain the best of friends instead of becoming arch enemies in later life.

For example, I love my sisters and we are the best of friends to each other. In fact, we are lifelong friends. We will always be around for each other in times of need. That is something very reassuring. But I do know of siblings who played together when they are young but no longer talk when they are in adulthood. That is just so sad.

On finances, I guess, yes, its true that the more kids you have, the less $$ you have to go around them all or you'd have to work extra hard. But what they lose out in terms of $$ and time, they gain, hopefully, in terms of love and familial support. They also have to learn to share and support each other. For example the older ones, support the younger ones etc though its really not that easy to make sure that this happens especially when the kids are very close in age.

Oh gosh. I'm long winded as usual. I hope I have answered that mommy's question. :)

We always tell the kids. "We are one happy family. When you go out there, sometimes there are people who are not nice to you (for example when their buddies "don't want to friend them"), but you can always come home to your family and know that your family loves you and cares about you very much. Your family will always be there for you, so be nice to each other." We tell them this when they are fighting. Haha.

Psstt: Any other mommy or daddy with two kids or more who want to give your opinion, please leave your link/url in the comment box after you have done so and I will link to you in my main post. I know many moms with 2 kids but I'm lazy to tag anyone on this. :P