Parent's Day

Yesterday was Parent's Day at my boy's kindy. Nothing very much to it. Just go and collect the books he had been using and have a chat with the teachers.

The teacher says he has improved in all areas accept his handwriting. She tells me he enjoys his music lessons and cross stitch lessons. He can do a little cross stitch design all on his own without much supervision. She tells me the children enjoys the sewing session a lot. All of them would sit around in a circle and chat and sew at the same time. How wonderful.

She tells me that he is very popular with both the girls and the boys in his class. She says they think that he has a personality that draws people to him.

When I ask him how come so many boys and girls like him, his reply was... "It is very easy to make friends. I just make them laugh." That is his key to making friends.

Yes, he is a abit of a joker. Last night he called me "My lovely" and the other day, he asked me to call him "My child". That had us in stitches. He is a very cheerful and happy boy. :)

Night Rush

There are many articles about morning rush.

However, what I experience is night rush. It starts at dinner. Each night, at dinner, I have to rush to get the kids to finish their meal, then it is a rush to get them to complete some school work, followed by a rush to drink milk, rush to brush teeth, wash up and change, rush to give and apply whatever medicine they are currently taking (yeah, they are always falling sick), then if there is time, reading time or chatting time, rush for lights off, then rush to sleep.

Gosh! I feel like a mad woman each night dashing here and there. My evenings are really hectic. No relaxing evening with a drink and movie for me. Sob. Sob. No annual leave, no relief. I feel so rushed!

Friends

Friends are an important part of a growing child's life. They influence, they improve self esteem and they make a child happy or sad.

My girl is happy again because her friend who "no longer wants to be friends with her" has agreed to be her "BFF" again. No, BFF does not stand for Boyfriend, fortunately since is is only 8. "BFF" is a term they use in class which stands for "Best Friend Forever". Many of her classmates have a BFF she says.

She was sad for a while because she had a falling out with her BFF. They were mad at each other for a while. I told her it is okay to be mad at your friends for a while but you can be friends again by smiling and talking to each other again. She did not want to. She was afraid of rejection. She asked me if I could ask the girl why she did not want to be friends with her anymore.

Anyway, the girl started talking to her again so she wrote a note to the girl "Will you be my BFF again?" and below that she wrote "Yes/No" for the girl to select. The girl replied "Yes" much to her delight. I am also happy that she managed to resolve it without turning to mummy for help.

I told her that I am her BMF (Best Mummy Forever) and she is my BDF (Best Daughter Forever) and she laughed. She said that for ours, our Forever really means Forever whereas with Friends, Forever sometimes does not last Forever. That is good insight for an 8 year old. :)

I try to encourage my daughter's friendships. It would be good if I could arrange for her to have outings with her classmates to get to know them better however this isn't always possible. First you have to get to know the parents. She has a friend from the first day of school whose parents we met and later we got together in our hometown during Chinese New Year.

The girls got together to swim and play and that gave them extra things to talk about and an extra bond from something shared outside of the classroom. Unfortunately they are no longer in the same class this year but they still talk to each other in the canteen or while waiting for transportation. Thing to note: By encouraging our children's friendships we make new friendships with other parents too along the way. :)

At other times, I just try to listen to to her talk about her friends and their antics. She insists that she does not have any friends apart from her BFF but I always see boys and girls calling out to her when she walks pass by them in school.

Anyway, I know that friends are very important in a child's life and by listening to her now, I hope she will continue to come to me in her teens when friends become even more important.

My Squidoo Lens has Gift Ideas for BFF - What to buy for your best friend

Reward Chart for Good Behaviour

"Catch your children at good behaviours."

"Reward positive behaviour."

"Focus on the good, not on negative or bad behaviour."

"Dangle the carrot, spare the rod."

"Reward rather than punish."

I was reading a parenting book which kept stressing the importance of looking out for good behaviour rather than pointing out bad behaviour.

So I took out my reward chart and started using them again. The kids love the reward chart. We have a rather complicated system but that makes it all the more fun, mysterious and exciting for them.

Each day they are falling over themselves to do good. It can be anything. Finishing their food INCLUDING their vegetables all by themselves, cleaning up after themselves, keeping toys, doing their homework without supervision, practising the piano without being reminded, brushing teeth and getting ready for bed, being nice to each other, taking their medicine without fuss. There are many ways to get reward stickers.

Each day they can collect as many stickers as they can to stick on the chart. At the end of the week we tabulate the stickers. Every 5 stickers get 1 stamp, 7 stickers receive 2 stamps. At the end of the month we count the stamps. Every 10 stamps get a lucky draw. We have a special lucky draw mini drawer for this purpose.

The kids love opening up the drawer to received small surprises, usually in the form of cute stationaries (that I would get them anyway...), sometimes a lollipop, or stickers or keychains, or even a dollar or two. The gifts are small and don't cost very much but it is the element of surprise that they love.

So they have been falling over themselves to be good each day. They even fold their clothes neatly after changing, help me make the bed, wipe and close the piano neatly after practising and bring their plates to the kitchen and help serve dessert and offer to give mummy and daddy massages.

And the best part is, they do all this without being told, nagged or shouted at. :)