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Wednesday, May 12, 2010



Friends


Friends are an important part of a growing child's life. They influence, they improve self esteem and they make a child happy or sad.

My girl is happy again because her friend who "no longer wants to be friends with her" has agreed to be her "BFF" again. No, BFF does not stand for Boyfriend, fortunately since is is only 8. "BFF" is a term they use in class which stands for "Best Friend Forever". Many of her classmates have a BFF she says.

She was sad for a while because she had a falling out with her BFF. They were mad at each other for a while. I told her it is okay to be mad at your friends for a while but you can be friends again by smiling and talking to each other again. She did not want to. She was afraid of rejection. She asked me if I could ask the girl why she did not want to be friends with her anymore.

Anyway, the girl started talking to her again so she wrote a note to the girl "Will you be my BFF again?" and below that she wrote "Yes/No" for the girl to select. The girl replied "Yes" much to her delight. I am also happy that she managed to resolve it without turning to mummy for help.

I told her that I am her BMF (Best Mummy Forever) and she is my BDF (Best Daughter Forever) and she laughed. She said that for ours, our Forever really means Forever whereas with Friends, Forever sometimes does not last Forever. That is good insight for an 8 year old. :)

I try to encourage my daughter's friendships. It would be good if I could arrange for her to have outings with her classmates to get to know them better however this isn't always possible. First you have to get to know the parents. She has a friend from the first day of school whose parents we met and later we got together in our hometown during Chinese New Year.
The girls got together to swim and play and that gave them extra things to talk about and an extra bond from something shared outside of the classroom. Unfortunately they are no longer in the same class this year but they still talk to each other in the canteen or while waiting for transportation. Thing to note: By encouraging our children's friendships we make new friendships with other parents too along the way. :)

At other times, I just try to listen to to her talk about her friends and their antics. She insists that she does not have any friends apart from her BFF but I always see boys and girls calling out to her when she walks pass by them in school.

Anyway, I know that friends are very important in a child's life and by listening to her now, I hope she will continue to come to me in her teens when friends become even more important.

My Squidoo Lens has Gift Ideas for BFF - What to buy for your best friend

2 comments:

  1. And you just reminded that i wanted to be my lovely sons' BFF... Best Father Forever.......

    well for your girls,it is part of growing up lol.

    take care now

    ReplyDelete
  2. My son is at the stage where he can tell me "I don't want to be your friend!"

    So...he has a long way more to go before he understands the concept of best mummy forever!

    Good that your daughter understands. Very positive post.

    ReplyDelete

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