that bullying is a rather common thing that happens in many schools. When your child is bullied in school, then suddenly you are at a loss about what to do. Where do you start?
This is a problem that has been brought up over and over again on our Facebook group - The Malaysia Primary And Secondary School Parents On Facebook. So, we did an infographic of the steps which we hope will help the parents.not claim to be experts on this very difficult topic. These are merely the author's view based on her own parenting instincts on what is the right thing to do.
In this post we will discuss the steps in more detail. Firstly, we will talk about...
WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS BULLIED
- Keep Quiet - Do not keep quiet and hope that it will go away. It won't. It is likely to get worse. Besides, you do not want other children to be bullied like your child
- Teach Your Child To Fight Back - You can teach your child how to stand up against bullies but do not teach him to fight back. It may worsen matters and you are teaching him that aggression is the right response. You want to teach him how to be assertive, not aggressive. You can send your child to martial arts classes like tae kwan do, not to become aggressive or to fight the bullies but as a way to build his own self confidence and make new friends.
- Approach The Bullies Or The Bullies Parents Yourself - Much as you'd like to do this very thing, avoid it. Meet up with the bullies and or their parents only with the school or other third parties acting as intermediaries. Many parents actually report success when approaching the bullying kids or their parents but this is the wrong way. You are an adult and the bullies are kids who sometimes do not know better. For example, they may be 7 year olds who come from a poor family background or who learned at home that aggression or bullying is the way to get attention and what they want. Who are you as a parent to approach and threaten the kids yourself? Always speak with the parents or kids with a third party present. When bullying happens in school, the school must act as an intermediary. Do not approach the other party yourself.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS BULLIED
So what do you do when your child is bullied? You can read our infographic below for a summarized version but here is the detailed flowchart.
- Support Your Child - First of all, support your child. Talk to him. Hug him. Show him unconditional love and let him know that it is not his fault (Of course you must also establish that he was not the one who started the fight if there was one). Bullying is never right, even when provoked in some way. Talk to him about bullying and how to prevent bullying. Teach him to stand up for himself. Help him build confidence and make new friends. Bullies often like to bully those who are alone.
- Talk To The Teacher - The first thing you should do is to inform the teacher. Do not assume the worse (ie. the teacher will not do anything or penalize your child). Inform the teacher in a matter of fact manner giving facts, times and names if you have them. Work together with the teacher to resolve the bullying.
- Inform The Headmaster - If you are unable to resolve the bullying at class level, bring it up to school level by informing the headmaster. Again, stay calm. You want to get results, not vent your anger or frustration. State facts. This is not the time for name calling even if you feel extremely frustrated that the teacher has done nothing to resolve the issue.
- Report To The Authorities - If the bullying has not been resolved at school level, then bring it up one step further, to the State or District Education Office, the Ministry of Education and the Police. However, you may need to do this step first of all if your child sustained injuries.
- Change Schools - Bullies are everywhere so you should consider this only as a last resort. However, trust your parental instincts. If you feel that your child is unhappy or will not be able to thrive in his current school, even after the bullying has been resolved, transfer him out of the school.
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All parents should educate their child to stand up against bullies. Not only that, you must stress to your children that bullying in any form is wrong.