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Wednesday, May 16, 2007



Emotional Leverage

Last night my girl tells me out of the blue "Mummy, I'm still thinking of you not feeling well." Then she makes shaking motions and an "Ugh ugh ugh" sound. I reassure her. Then I asked her daddy to talk to her and reassure her too. Then she begins to cry silent tears which turns to loud sobs.

This happened around bedtime. I try to comfort and reassure her the best I can but I also have the nagging feeling that she is using this as an emotional leverage to get what she wants. And what she wanted was not to go to bed!

It happened again today. Her grandpa and aunt came to visit. Around the time when they were leaving she mentioned about thinking about me not feeling well again and started to cry. Her tears disappear easily when I promise to play with her which is why I suspect she is now using this new found emotional leverage to get what she wants. And what she wanted this time was for her aunt and grandpa to stay longer. Sigh!

Somebody please tell me what to do. I want to reassure her because I am really afraid that she may have got the scare of her life seeing her mummy having 3 seizures all in one day but at the same time I don't want her to use this and her tears to get what she wants. Hmm.... the female species do learn from very young to use their emotions to have their way don't they?

9 comments:

  1. kids are smart nowadays. BTW, how old is ur girl ar..sorry can't help u with this, because me also "quite new" to motherhood, and still got a long way to go lei..
    Take care!!

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  2. annie,
    My girl is 5 and my boy is 3 and they are GOOD at holding me on emotional hostage! Hahaha.

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  3. she's quite smart also eh? Hmmm susah abit ini maciam. I think you need to reason with her la. and tell her its not good to use this as an excuse cos it will make u sad sad? Maybe she love u so much and sked u're sad and will stop? Update us ya on how u overcome this problem.

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  4. wish you happy birthday here :)

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  5. sasha,
    I'm only guessing. What if her fear is real? Anyway, I think for the time being I'll just not talk about it so much and distract her instead. She is easily appeased which is why I think she's just using this as an excuse to get what she wants.

    huisia,
    Thanks but izzit my birthday yet? My girl's birthday is this month but mine is the next. Hehe.

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  6. wah this one really a tough one. got to seek professional help cannot simply guess one wor! check on the internet ler...once u have the answer pls share...heeheehee..

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  7. Speaking from ____point of view, I honestly do not think she is using emotional leverage, it sounds a lot like a post traumtic thing to me. Keep me posted please.

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  8. laundryamah,
    Internet oso got no answer for this. Got to find own answer.

    firehorse,
    So how do you think I should handle this? Her tears disappear quickly as soon as she gets what she wants.

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  9. I think .. all kids are smart this way..!! even chloe does.. the please, please, please.. please .. please routine. Guess daddy gotta be the firm one then..?? like we do at home.

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