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Saturday, July 14, 2007

Bringing up Independant Children

Mr MG is always telling me that I should encourage the children to do things for themselves ie to be independant. However, I'm lazy and impatient. I have no patience to sit around for hours showing them how to wear their shoes again and again and watching them do it ever so slowly and having them ask me countless questions while they are at it.

Mr MG has the patience to show them and thats because IMHO patience levels goes down according to the number of hours spent with the children. Lol! He is patient because he doesn't have to do things for them all day long, everyday.

So I usually end up doing things for them. Things get done much faster that way, whether its eating, wearing shoes, clothes or whatever. Mr MG always tells me that I should "invest for the future". "If you keep on doing things for them without showing them how to do it themselves, you will still be complaining about having to do things for them a few years from now", said he (the one who does not have to do it everyday).

So last night, in my bid to encourage independance (or rather the real reason was because I was lazy and had other things to do) I threw the pyjama trousers and my three year old boy and said "Nah (Here), wear it yourself." After a while he came running to see me with a pleased smile on his face and said "I did it!"

This morning to my amusement I found that he had worn his pyjama pants over his shorts! Hahaha. But yes, he did it anyway. Lol! The moral of the story: When encouraging independance, give specific or clear instructions or teach first. I had forgotten to tell him to remove his shorts first.

My boy and girl are so different. My boy is always telling me "I wanna do myself." and pushes me away whereas my girl is always telling me "Mummy, please do for me." And they both have the same mother. So sometimes I think independance is a little bit inborn. What do you think?


  1. I'm just like u-no patience, sigh!

  2. My boy is also like yours , everything want to do it by himself, while my girl everything also "Mummy, please ..."

    We parents always take for granted about little things and thought they should know how to do it and do it fast. That's why in Montessori curriculum, Practical Life exercise is very important to help them towards the road of independence.

  3. a&a'smom,
    Yes, Sigh. I'm reaaaly impatient!

    Yes its true that we take it for granted that they know how to do all these little things for themselves. Practical Life exercise sounds really practical! Can you blog more about it or point me to your link if you have? Thanks.

  4. Well, put it this way. How many adults need parents to dress them?? LOL Eventually they will learn how to do things themselves, right? So while I am still needed to do things for them, I will indulge them-lor! (anything to make my life easier now!! hahaha..)

  5. I'm like you .. because i've got so many things to take care of.. not like PB.. !! he feeds. .and then put everything in the sink. He eats. .and put everything in the sink.. ! He cooks.. and puts everything in the sink.
    When i feed, cook or eat .. i have to clean everything on my own.
    So ya.. i have no time.. most times.. !

  6. kat,
    Yah, I think the same way too. ;)

    mama bok,
    Haha. How nice to cook then leave everything in the sink isn't it? You should try it too. ;)

  7. Basic living skills is very important.. I have an only child but I train her to be independent like clean up her own room, preparing a meal etc from young. She's in her teens now and most teachers thought she's the eldest in the family. She's taught money management from the age of 7 and also how to manage part-time help from the age of 14. Personally, I feel it's important for kids to be independant and thoughtful.

  8. anon,
    Looks like you've done really well to raise an independant child. :)


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