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Monday, July 09, 2007

Quality Time Vs Quantity Time

I wasn't sure whether to call this post Quality Time vs Quantiy Time or Their Time vs My Time.

Anyway, most days, I have many things that I want to do such as:

  • Blog
  • Learn Piano (Its never too late to learn)
  • Do my Cross Stitch (which I've neglected)
  • Do my exercises
  • Practise some Yoga
  • Teach the Kids
  • Play with the Kids

This is in addition to the normal daily things like bathing and feeding the kids and getting them to nap. I am fortunate in that I have a part time helper to help me with the cooking and cleaning, otherwise it would be even worse.

I have no time to watch TV or chat on the phone so I don't do those. Now, even with domestic help, I struggle each day to do some of the above and .....

When I spend more time doing MY own things then I feel guilty for neglecting the kids. I feel guilty for being home but not being there for them. When they come to me, I tell them "Go and play on your own, Mummy is busy." So basically I am spending Quantity Time and not Quality Time with them.

On the other hand when I spend all my time doing THEIR things with them, then I feel frustrated for neglecting myself.

Thats my daily dilemma as a SAHM. Its really very easy to say, why don't you do both and have a good balance but its not easy in practise. THERE REALLY ISN'T ENOUGH TIME!

To make myself from feeling stressed, guilty and unhappy or frustrated, I have to think about how fun it is to be a mother.

Read my poem: Me Time



  1. Hmmm...agree with ur thought.Like me, now i have more time with my boys.When with them, i hardly had my own "ME" time. Especially now, no one helping, and i have to stop my exercise,my own leisure. The only good thing is now i can blog whenever i want during work..hahahah (ssshhhh), but i been lazy. Sigh! When at home i want to catch some HK series, or read some book that is all after my two boys goes to bed.
    Wow...u still learn piano? I thought of want to finish my grade 7 & 8! hahaha, i stop at grade 7 and after stop for nearly 20 years can i still catch up ar? :(

  2. annie,
    Because of the condition of my health, I need a lot of sleep so I have to sleep when they sleep living me no me time. And the piano, well, I've not had any formal education before. Haha. I learned the organ when I was young. Now I'm learning the piano on my own from a book. So I'm sure you can finish your grades easily. (That is if you have the time!) Hahaha.

  3. You are not alone MG. With a live in maid, I don't have enough time too. Assignments not done, feel guilty of spending so much time in front pc blogging, forget about cross stitch and other sewing crafts. No time to learn scrapbooking , no time to compile the photos to be printed out in the photo books and so much so much more. Like you I don't watch TV and I don't chat on phone, still not enough time.

  4. dragonmummy,
    No time. No time. No time. Weekends are even busier. And guilt and make me just as grumpy as frustration. Help! Hahaha.

  5. Hahaha...same here. At least your part time helper cooks. I still have to cook for my boy when both of them sleep. I got cleaners to clean the house every week now, finally. You learned organ before, me too. I'm thinking of learning piano on my own too...wheeennn I have the TIME.

  6. Yes, identify perfectly with the dilemma. Somethings have to be "sacrificed" each day. I find splitting my day down helps. I try to spend mornings for about an hour or so just playing with kids. Rest of the day I may just be spending quantity time with them as I get things done. When they nap, it's "me" time.

  7. khongfamily,
    Yah. Cooking really takes up a lot of time. The preparation. The cleanup etc. I will probably be writing a post about learning piano on my own personal blog later on....wheeeennn I have the TIME. Hahaha.

    It takes a lot of discipline to split the day down. It really isn't easy at all.

  8. U r so right MG! Yeah NOT ENUFF TIME!! My ME time is going to stadium for my daily 7km run with DH. Then get back home & rush tru bfast. Then do my house vacuuming. Then get ready b4 the boys get back from sch. Then it's never ending of homework & coaching them in their studies with of course an hour + for the boys break of playing football with their buddies

  9. a&a'smom,
    And you thought you would have more time to yourself when they grew up. Haha. Now that your boys are bigger, you still can't have enough of that commodity called TIME!

  10. Your story sounds like mine. It is NOT natural for every mother to sacrifice for their children. We will always struggle -- the war between ME TIME and THEIR time.

  11. lian,
    Its a lifetime mommy struggle. You have 3. More to struggle with. Haha.


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