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Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Dad had a minor stroke. He had a sudden behaviour change starting Saturday night and we got worried. He wasn't his own cheery self. He became forgetful, a bit confused and slightly obsessive in his behaviour ie. he couldn't seem to snap himself out of activities he got engaged in. Otherwise physically he looked fine. Finally yesterday, we managed to persuade him to go to the doctor for an evaluation.

Dad was hard to persuade. He can be very stubborn when it comes to seeing doctors but his resistance is due to fear. We had trouble deciding which doctor to go to at first. We didn't know any and we didn't know where to start because his symptoms seem so vague. Dementia, Alzeimers and a Stroke crossed our minds. Eventually we took him to a physician for a full body check. A CT Scan of the brain confirmed he had a stroke. The physician said he was lucky. It missed the nerve areas or he could have been half paralysed.

Dad is 73 and has been on blood pressure meds for about 8 years. However this stroke was probably caused by hardening of the arteries so the doc gave him some blood thining medication.

I first noticed his changed behaviour on Saturday night when I went to visit him. On Monday morning he rang me at 6.30am to say he could not find his house and car keys. He said he did not go out at all on Sunday and did not take breakfast, lunch or tea. He was watching TV. He probably forgot to take his meals. I feel terrible. I could have at least called him on Sunday to check on him and not left him alone. Sunday's I'm normally busy with my own family routines and forgot! Thats so terrible.

I hope dad is able to recover to his old usual self. It pains me to see him walk slower, to see him quieter and agree to most of our suggestions (accept seeing the doctor) as if he has lost a bit of will or is simply too tired to think.

Dad has always been independant. At 73 he still drives around and goes everywhere on his own. He would feel very unhappy to lose his independance. I really hope dad will be able to recover to his own usual self in time. I read that once brain cells are destroyed, the damage is irreversible. However our brains are smart enough to reorganise itself so hopefully his old personality will be restored.

I want my old cheerful dad back. At the same time I'm thankful he is not physically affected.


  1. I'm sorry to hear that. Hope your dad recovers as soon as possible and become his old usual self again.


    Time to spend more time with him also, right?

  2. it would be dangerous for your dad as well as to other people if he continue to drive around in that condition...

    I think is best that you all let him rest more to regain his health... he will be stubborn knowing he is loosing his independence and freedom though...

    take care...

  3. Yes Jason, definitely we'll spend more time with him.

    Egghead, he is definitely not in the condition to drive right now and I think he knows it too and won't be foolish enuf to try but we will make sure he doesn't. I do hope however that sometime in the future he will be recovered enough to drive again with the doctor's approval of course.

  4. Hope your dad gets well soon. I think he needs more attention now and company.

    He won't get used to it at first but he will be fine soon. God Bless!

  5. Hope your father gets well soon.. it's really luckt that it missed his nerves...

    Sometimes don't we just wish we could shield our love ones from sicknesses like these...

  6. hope ur dad gets well soon.praise the lord that you guys were able to convince him for the check.

    make him understand that it is necessary to identify any change in himself. most of all, remind him that you love him.

    take care.

  7. Sorry for your dad and hope he is recovering soon!

    Now I so wish to stay with my parent! Life is so unpredictable!

  8. old folks normally like that..stubborn esp if they have to see a dr.
    Hope he recovers very soon...

  9. so sorry to hear about your dad. i do hope he gets well soon!

  10. Really sorry to hear that. Don't be so hard on urself as it's not your fault. I can only imagine how much anxiety ur must be going thru now. Hugs. My prayers r with u.

  11. Sorry about your dad, hope he'll get back to his old self soon.

  12. something similiar happen to us again.
    My father just got this last week, also made a big stir in family.
    he felt terrible in Singapore Earthtone's home, and came back with my mom, immediately went to UMMC (go to govt. hospital, the doctor will do thorough check), comfirm he got mild stroke.
    same like your dad my dad has HBP mediccine for years.
    now he is recovering slowly with the help of acupunture.

    spend more time with our father. most of the time I depend on twinsdad fetch me to parent's home, but lately he will fetch me there for half day, Twinsdad pick us up after work.

    they are stubborn at thier old age, my father even want to drive himself to the acupunture! just nag them, it will work.

    Pray for your dad.

  13. sorry to hear about your father, hope he recovers soon...

  14. I hope he recovers quickly :)

    I guess spending more time with him could help cheer him up. I mean, the folks love it when there's company. Especially children.

  15. I hope ur dad gets well soon. Take good care. *Hugzz*

  16. sounds so scary, hope he is oksay by now.

  17. Sorry to hear about your dad. Hope things get better.
    Take care !

  18. I guess no words can bring you as much comfort as seeing your dad back to his old self again. I'll just give you hugs instead ;) and wish him speedy recovery.

  19. Hope ur dad recover soon. I know Stroke can be so bad as I've helped to take care of my grandpa when he had stroke. Had to wash his poo poo as he is sinile and cannot tell he poo poo or not.

  20. Thank you for all your comments. I realise now that stroke also has psychological and emotional consequences depending on which part of the brain is damaged. Lets all remember to take care of ourselves and our aged parents (for those of us who have them) better, yes? And that means living a more healthy lifestyle, getting enough exercise, sunshine, no smoking, eat a healthy diet and having good relationships.

  21. Hi MG, I saw your message at Twinsmom's blog.

    Sorry to read about your dad's condition after coming back to your blog.

    I hope he recovers well. Old people need alot of tender loving care also.

    Hope to see your blog about his recovery soon. Take care of him yah?


  22. sorry about your dad. hope your dad recovers soon.

  23. Reading your blog reminds me that my parents are not immortal. Both my parents are diabetics and are on medication for high blood pressure and cholesterol. My mum called to tell me after coughing for 2 weeks, my dad has finally relented and went to a doctor. She also kept asking me when we will be coming to visit.

    I have never been close to my parents and it feels very awkward to start telling them now to eat healthier and do more exercise. Sometimes I am so caught up with my own family, I hardly have any time to think of anyone else. I do realise that it may be too late to show I care when they are seriously ill, so my Christmas and New Year wish is to show my gratitude and love to my parents and that I will always have time for them, no matter how busy I am. The same goes for my other half's parents.

    It's good that you are close to your dad. At least you will have no regrets should anything happen to him. Just enjoy your time with him now, and don't worry about what you should have done. It's not too late. He is still here...

  24. MG, take good care of your dad. I lost mine last week and regret that I didn't do more for him while he was alive.

  25. et, you are wonderful in looking after your granny. must learn from you.

    twin, yah. I hope so too.

    kat, thank you for the reminder.

    lydia, I'm so sorry to hear this. My condolences to your family. Do take care.


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