Emotional Blackmail

There is emotional blackmail going on in my house!

Example 1

Baby is very good at this. Now that he can crawl quite fast, he likes to follow me around the house. Crawl, crawl, crawl after mummy crying softly for attention. Bad mommy runs away or tries to hide from baby but baby won't give up. Crawl, crawl, crawl after mummy crying harder all the time. Ah.... found mummy at last. Now goes up on a kneeling position with arms outstretch and crying even harder. If that doesn't work than baby pulls himself up using mummy as prop and stands wobbly there (looking as if he is going to fall down anytime) crying very hard, tears rolling down his little face which is turning red now from all his efforts, little beads of sweat starting to collect on his head and face.

Mummy picks baby up and baby stops crying abrubtly and smiles. Sometimes he even laughs! Now if thats not emotional blackmail, I don't know what is.

Example 2

I usually try to let baby and toddler have an afternoon nap at the same time but sometimes this doesn't work out and they end up disturbing each other instead. When that happens, I usually separate the siblings by taking baby out and leaving toddler in the room. Sometimes she is a good girl and goes to sleep on her own but sometimes she will cry loudly or shout for me. "Mummy, come here!". I usually ignore her but will go and check on her if its too long because safety comes first. Must make sure she is not up to too much mischief on her own.

When I go in to check on her:

Annoyed MG: Why are you standing on the bed shouting for mummy? You are supposed to put your head on the pillow, close your eyes and sleep.

Toddler: Because I want to hug hug you........ (tears rolling down her face).

Now if thats not emotional blackmail, I don't know what is.

Hmmm..... my kids have me wrapped around their tiny little fingers.

Happily Married, I am.

This time 4 years ago, I was busy serving tea to my elders and we were having the greatest time laughing and enjoying ourselves. I had the greatest wedding ever and we talked about it for months afterwards. They say that you will feel stressed on the big day but we didn't feel any stress at all. We just felt happy and we had a lot of fun because of my joker hubby. The photos showed our happiness and I like to look at them over and over again.

We didn't have a tai kam poh (is that what you call those expert person who will help you through the tea and other ceremonies?) so we just did everything ourselves, right or wrong and thats the fun of it. Big sister did the tea pouring and when it came to her turn to be served, second sister poured tea instead and we didn't know how to address them when serving the tea so it was really hilarious fun.

We got registered on 26th and had the ceremony on 27th so now we can celebrate our anniversary over two whole days. Whoopee!! (If forget on 26th still got another chance to remember the next day!)

This post is dedicated to my beloved hubby, Mr MG. Happy Annivesary to my love. You don't read my blog so I will have to email this post to you. Hehe.

You know you married the right man when.....

• he makes you laugh even when you are busy being angry or arguing with him
• he waits patiently for you to make up your fickle mind on what shoes to buy/what to eat for dinner
• he never sounds impatient over the phone even if you happen to call when he is very busy at work
• you think he looks very smart in his work outfit and each time he has a haircut you go "Wow, my man looks good!"
• you think he looks sexy in his new boxer shorts and white T-shirt ;-)
• he shows his appreciation when you cook a meal once in a blue moon and doesn't mind eating/buying takeout the rest of the time
• he doesn't notice/pretends not to notice the dust on the shelves or wipes it off quietly himself with a wet cloth
• he always makes sure things are working well around the house as soon as it breaks down
• he goes and buys new food for you to try even though he likes to eat the same food, is unsure of what to order and hates to queue up to buy and wait for food to be cooked
• he is your best friend and confidante
• he tries his best to put a smile on your face when you're feeling unhappy or stressed
• you begin to enjoy watching his kungfu movies and reading marvel comics with him
• you look forward to the weekends so you can spend more time with him
• he works very hard, sometimes under stress to try to make sure you don't have to worry about your family's future financial security
• you think he smells nice and manly ;-)
• you see him visibly trying to hold back his words of anger instead of shouting back at you during an argument
• he looks so happy on Saturday morning when you cook Instant Mee Goreng for his breakfast (so easy to please my man)
• your face light up and you beam the whole day just because he got you a teddy bear and card for your anniversary (I feel like a teenager today. Hehe)

Ok. Enough teenage daydreaming for the day. Gotta go and do some real woman work around the house now.

Baby, I Love Your Laugh

We bought baby new walking shoes last weekend. He's been pulling himself up everywhere and even stood for a few seconds the other day. He had two of his sister's foam alphabets with him, one on each hand and forgot that he was not holding on to anything and so he stood there, smiling, for a few seconds. So naturally the kiasu / proud parents rushed out to buy him new walking shoes as he will be walking very soon.

That will mean that I will soon have another toddler in the house as he starts toddling around in the little cute drunken manner that only new walkers do. Hmm.... and toddler is no longer a toddler but a preschooler now. She can write some ABC's with a little help from dotted lines and is so proud of herself. Her squibbles are beggining to take more form now too and she is beggining to draw some smiley faces using curved lines and circles.

Baby can play Peek-A-Boo now too. Previously I hid and played with him but now he tries to hide himself behind the door (he especially loves to play doors) and when he reappears and sees me, he lets out a delightful, happy laughter. He also loves the stomach butt game during diaper changes. I would declare loudly "stomach butt" and butt my head on his stomach to prevent him from turning over and he loves it. He would laugh hilariously as though its the funniest joke ever played on him.

I just love to hear baby laugh. Its spontaneous and full of glee and amusement.

Simple Blogging Terms

I almost wanted to give up my blog site for health reasons but decided to tone down instead to 2-3 posts a week instead of 2-3 a day. Hehe. Toning down also means taking less time to go through my blog feed. So to all the blogs on my blogroll and many other special blogs and readers, sorry if I haven't been visiting your blogs and commenting very much. Now you know why. And if I haven't been replying to your comments, its not because I'm a blog snob ok? But seriously, blog hopping takes up a lot of time and time is a precious commodity. Theres only that many hours in a day so one must spend it wisely.

I've mentioned before that I blog in my head. I have so many things that I want to blog about but usually don't because I don't have the time. If I did, I'd be having blogorrhoea on my blog everyday.

I love my blog. Its hard to give it up. I can use it as a diary that I can refer to from time to time. (When I use it as a diary I usually don't ping PPS). I can use it to express my frustration, as a pick me up and for some positive self motivation or simply as a tool for my love in writing. I can even use it to bleg for information or contribution if I have something to ask.

So, for the time being, I won't be giving up my blog. After all my blog is one in a million (one in a million blogs in the region of S'pore, M'sia, Thailand & Philipines that is) and one among 60 million blogs in the world. Wow! Numbers taken from The Blog Herald on World Wide Blog Count for May now over 60 million blogs.

I also feel a little sad when I read about blogs shutting down for whatever reasons. Even Jason is considering not mumbling anymore. Anyway Jason, here's an article for you.

Glossary of blog terms used in this post can be found here.
Blogging Terms - An Ah Soh's view can be found here.

Let The Buyer Beware

After a few door slammings from both baby and toddler, our clothes hook/hanger or whatever you call it, finally gave way ie two of its wooden arms fell off so we had to look for a new one at the furniture shop.

We went to a furniture shop which houses several company showrooms. I was a little afraid to go in because I could see that the showrooms were quiet from the outside when I peered in. Surely the sales personnel would pounce upon us like vultures to fight for sales and all we wanted was a simple clothes hook. They would be disappointed.

First Showroom
We saw a suitable clothes hook at the first showroom we entered. Lets call it Item A.

Sales Talk: "Yes sir, this Item A is the last one we have. We normally order them in batches of 10 and just sold all of them this morning. I can let you have it for RM90 cash and carry price." (The sales person did not look at all embarrassed when we pointed to another Item A in the corner of the showroom. Hmm.... lets move on....)

Second Showroom
We saw Item A again.

"This item A is RM67. The cash and carry price is RM60. (Interesting. Move on...)

Third Showroom
We saw Item A and another interesting looking Item B.

"Item A is RM120. Item B is more expensive sir, around RM200 plus but we can sell this last showroom unit to you for less. We have a newer model similar to Item B which we haven't fixed up yet. We can do it now " (Item B was interesting in design but looked rather sorry and rusty. We told them not to fix up the newer model as we didn't want to waste their time since we may not buy it eventually but even as we walked away we heard them getting ready to fix it up while someone hollered after us "Do come back here, Sir!")

Fourth Showroom
Item A was going for RM85.

Fifth Showroom

"Item B is RM150 but you can have it for RM120 if you take it home and fix it yourself. Don't worry sir, it only looks unstable because we accidentally hit it several times while shifting the furniture around. You can put super glue to make sure the loose parts don't come off." (Unfortunately or rather fortunately for us they did not have any stock accept for the rather broken looking showroom unit)

Eventually, we bought Item B for RM90 the next day at a different place. We didn't bother looking around anymore as we already knew what we wanted and we knew that the price was reasonable after being quoted RM200 plus and RM150 for the same item. The Item A was just as bad with price quotes ranging from RM60 - Rm120. Don't you think its just criminal for the traders to fleece people with crazy price quotes like these? Why, some of them are 100% more then what their neighbouring competitors are offering for the same item. Its ridiculous! I hate walking around shopping and I especially hate bargaining. Its a waste of time but if we hadn't done that we'd probably be paying a lot more than we needed.

Hopefully baby and toddler won't break this one as well.

Saturday Night

Babies..... such small, innocent, tiny and sweet little beings but what a HUGE impact they have on our lives. This is what happens after they arrive. (Young people don't be afraid to get married and have kids after reading this post. Hehe. Though very different, every phase is enjoyable, I assure you.)

Saturday Night as a single girl

7.00pm Doll Up and Dress Up
8.00pm Dinner out on the town in some new fancy place
10.00pm Drink, watch a band or two/listen to some music/dance/cucimata etc
1.00am Lepak at mamak stall eating roti canai/nasi lemak with some hot piping teh tarik
3.00am zzzzzzzz

Saturday Night married with kids

7.00pm Tries to eat dinner in front of TV with baby crying and toddler running around
8.00pm Dress kids up and whole family drive to the bank to do some night banking
8.30pm Drop by at kong kong's (grandpa's) house for a short while
9.30pm Get the kids ready for bed
10.30pm zzzzzzz

Do I want to turn back the clock to an earlier time? No. Its hard but its fun too. Kids. They bring so much warmth, laughter and love to every home.

Strange Bedfellows

I often see sweet little babies with their cuddlies in the form of a pillow, bolster, blanket or soft toy and wander how come my babies are not attached to anything. Maybe breastfed babies are like that. The only thing they are attached to are their..... errr... "milk containers".

Both of my babies do not have any attachments to any cuddlies. They both are not particularly attached to any pillows or bolsters. Toddler's favourite bedtime toys changes all the time and baby only wants his "milk containers". I recall toddler used to take two Hello Kitty soft toys to bed, one pink and one yellow. Her favourite was the yellow one and she would insist that I held the pink one while she held the yellow and we would hold the toys together until she fell asleep. She quickly outgrew that and moved on to Ernie of Sesame Street fame for a very short time. Ernie would sing and dance for her (courtesy of mummy) before she slept.

Soon Ernie grew out of favour when she fell in love with a big ugly and tacky looking blue flower from ToysRUs. The flower had a yellow smiley face and a long green stem and she would hold, kiss and look at the smiley face before falling asleep. The smiley face doubled up as a mop the very next morning as she tried to imitate me when I swept/mopped the floor. Ewe!

Her current love is a small blue foam alphabet No.3 which she would hold before sleeping and every night she would ask me. "Where's my No.3?" I hope she won't grow up to change clothes or boyfriends the way she changes her cuddlies! (Toddlers favourite colour is blue. She has a blue toothbrush, blue hairbrush, blue books and her blue No. 3 and has requested for blue baloons and a blue cake for her birthday! )

Children often have a way of soothing themselves to sleep and sometimes this carries on to adulthood too. I can't sleep without my bolster thats for sure. Hehe.

I'm Ready For Toilet Training

I'm ready for toilet training.......No.......not toddler...... but me, MG, I ...... am ready for toilet training.

Toddler showed many signs of readiness a long time ago but then.....

• I was too busy puking in the toilet bowl to take anyone there (when pregnant with baby)
• I was too busy eating (during the second trimester)
• I was too big and tired (in the third trimester. I was huge! My friend called me a beached whale and I think anyone who saw me in public places would be afraid.... very afraid... that I was going to pop anytime. No way was I ready to toilet train then!)
• I was too busy recovering from birth (After baby arrived and during confinement)
• I was too busy breastfeeding (During the first few months with baby)
• I was too busy preparing, cooking and blending baby food (When baby started solids)

And now.... tada.... I'm ready for toilet training (or rather I've run out of excuses :PpP).

So, I don't care if anyone looks at me or toddler in a pitiful/sorry manner and say "She's still not toilet trained?" and I tune off when a "well meaning" colleague pulled up toddler's dress (a year ago) and said "She's still in diapers. Why don't you train her? Its very easy.....blah blah blah." (Sorry but I can't remember what else she said after that as I was not really interested to know how her maid or mum or she took her child to the toilet every hour nor am I keen to know of how some friend toilet trained their baby by one year old).

To me, parenting is a case of "To each his own". There is no need to worry about what the books or your friends/neighbours/relatives or doctors (ok this one maybe need to worry a little bit) have to say about your parenting "skills" as there really is no wrong or right. Whatever feels right for you and your child, is right. Thats it. Its as simple as that.

And so, if your child learns to go to toilet early, well then good for you, you save on diaper money, and if mine learns to go to toilet before she goes to university, thats my business. At least starting late has its benefits, no potty on the floor for toddler. Its straight to the adults toilet seat for toddler so that this lazy & busy mama can just flush when she's done. No cleaning of potty required.

If I Could Be.......

Oh No! I've been tagged.... by a wanabe lawyer.

What follows is a list of different occupations. The reader must select at least five of them. The reader may add more if they like to the list before they pass it on (after the reader select five of the items as it was passed to the reader). Of the five selected, the reader is to finish each phrase with what he would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here’s that list: (My additions are in bold)

If [Reader] could be a scientist // If [Reader] could be a farmer
if [Reader] could be a musician // If [Reader] could be a doctor
If [Reader] could be a painter // If [Reader] could be a gardener
If [Reader] could be a missionary // If [Reader] could be a chef //
If [Reader] could be an architect // If [Reader] could be a linguist
If [Reader] could be a psychologist // If [Reader] could be a librarian
If [Reader] could be an athlete // If [Reader] could be a lawyer
If [Reader] could be an innkeeper // If [Reader] could be a professor
If [Reader] could be a writer // If [Reader] could be a backup dancer
If [Reader] could be a llama-rider // If [Reader] could be a bonnie pirate
If [Reader] could be a midget stripper // If [Reader] could be a proctologist
If [Reader] could be a TV-Chat Show host // If [Reader] could be a pariah…
If [Reader] could be an actor // If [Reader] could be a judge
If [Reader] could be a Jedi // If [Reader] could be a mob boss
If [Reader] could be a backup singer // If [Reader] could be a CEO
If [Reader] could be a movie reviewer // If [Reader] could be a monkey’s uncle
If [Reader] could be a bible archaeologist //I f [Reader] could be a househusband
If [Reader] could be a lifeguard //I f [Reader] could be a comic artist
If [Reader] could be a stockbroker//I f [Reader] could be a travel writer
If [Reader] could be a food reviewer //I f [Reader] could be a politician

So here's my 5 picks:

1. If I could be a backup singer.......I'd sing so well, I'd outshine the main singer. Muahahaha.
2. If I could be a writer..........hmmm... "Hey! Wait a minute. I am a writer. I blog don't I?
3. If I could be an innkeeper, I'd own the most beautiful inn, invite all my friends to stay (as paying guests of course) and party all year long. Hehe.
4. If I could be musician, I'd be a pianist or harpist. I just love the sounds of those two instruments.
5. If I could be a llama-rider..... Whats that???!!! (*scratches head*)

Now, for the fun part..... The next 3 targets shall be PapiMami (sweet revenge for passing me the music meme previously), solb1kenobi and Simon.

Interrupted

My day is often interrupted......

In the middle of the night....

"Waaaaah!" Hmmm... time to feed baby.

Early in the morning......

"Mummy, mummy, wake up. The sun is out and I'm going out!"

In the Toilet....

"Baby. Get away from that door. No. No. The toilet floor is dirty. No. Don't come here..."

In the Kitchen.....

"No Baby No. Stop playing with the slipper. No. Its dirty. Nooooo...."

While having lunch....

"Mummy, I wanna go toilet......"

While trying to finish lunch.....

"Mummy, I wanna go toilet......"
"No baby no, don't crawl under the table!"

While trying to have a bath.....

"Phew! Thank Goodness for the purple dinasaur babysitter."

While trying to change baby's diaper....

"Stop climbing on the table and hopping on the armchair......"
"No.. no.. baby, come back here, mummy's not done yet!"

While trying to blog ......

"No, no you two, get away from the keyboard, don't touch that!"

Sometimes I wonder how I stay sane....

Blogging in my Head

I think most bloggers will have this habit. I often blog in my head. Mostly, blogging in my head occurs:

• when I'm tossing and turning and having trouble sleeping
• in the middle of the night after getting up and can't go back to sleep
• in queues whether its the bank, supermarket or fast food restaurant
• in the toilet and bathroom
• in waiting rooms especially if there's a long wait eg clinic, government offices
• while dining out
• after reading some newspaper article or a good book
• while jogging at the park

On a side note, while jogging at the park, I came across a bunch of inconsiderate young men playing football. They had their stuff strewn all over the jogging track so one had to weave through them and I wondered how they got any conversation going from all the cantonese foul words spewing out of their mouths at every sentence (practically 9 out of 10 words they used in a sentence were foul). They probably thought its very cool to behave like that. Ish! I hope theres less young people like that around.

Mommy, please don't worry.....

I don't normally blog during the weekends, so here's my early Happy Mother's Day wish to all the mumsies on the blog. Enjoy your day y'all and enjoy being a mother.

Mommy, please don't worry 'cause
I'm doing really well,
Even though I miss you on
This Happy Mother's Day!

Wishing you were with me 'cause
In that case I could tell
You all the things that happened to me
Throughout these years you were away

I love you even though you can't
Be with me anymore now
And I know you love me, too,
'Cause I'm your little child.

And I'm sure that you will come
To me someday, somehow,
And I will see you looked at me
And know that you have smiled.

Copyright by
Nicholas Gordon
Modified by MG of mumsgather.blogspot.com

Now a mother myself, I know how hard it must have been for my mom to leave the 5 of us behind. I think that on her deathbed she must have been very worried about us. When she left, we were only aged from 10 - 18. Now almost 30 years on, we are aged 39 - 47 with families of our own. So mom, you can rest in peace now, we all turned out allright. It is my dearest wish as a mum to be able to watch my children grow up, become independant of me and have their own lives like I do now. ( I think this is every dad's wish too).

I never enjoyed any Mother's Day (till I became a mom myself) since I was 10 years old 'cos it always reminded me sadly that I did not have a mom to love me unlike all the other kids at school who were so excitedly planning what to do for their mums on this day.

So on this day, I would like us all to pause for a moment and think of those little ones who do not have mothers to love them and be thankful for our children and our mums (for those of us whose mums and mums-in-law are still around instead of complaining about them). Whenever I hear of anyone complaining about their mum/mil whose helping to look after their grandchildren, I can't help but feel that they have forgotten to be thankful and they fail to realise how tiring it must be for an older person to look after very young children.

Happy Mothers Day!

Kiasi

I am kiasi. Not because I am afraid of death (its hard to be afraid of the unknown) but rather because I am afraid of leaving the people I love behind.

I am afraid of leaving my Mr MG behind to raise our kids alone the way my dad had to with us. A man needs a wife to love him and a mother to look after his kids. Its hard enough to be a parent but to be a single parent is many times harder. I salute all single parents.

I am afraid of leaving my little ones behind. They're so young and innocent and have so many more milestones to cover and things to learn. I would not want them to grow up without a mom to love them the way I had to.

So I tell Mr MG. "If I die, you must remarry but got condition one. First, your new wife must love our kids and Second, you better not allow our kids to forget about me. You must keep on telling them about me to remind them." (I'm not sure new wife would like that very much!) The second condition is something I am terrified of because my kids are so young now, I couldn't bear it if they forgot me. (Not that I'd know if I were dead). Hehe. Tough! No wonder my dad never remarried even though he was only 44 when my mom died. His reason has always been "Its not easy to find a woman to love your kids and not want to have some of her own" and he didn't want to have any more kids. 5 of us must have been a handful as it is. Plus, my dad is a simple and straightforward man so I don't think he enjoyed the thought of having an extended family with more kids and the kids all fighting with one another!

Similarly, I've told Mr MG. "If anything happened to you, be assured that though it will be very hard, I will find the strength within me to make sure I go out to get a job and still do the best that I can to look after the children financially and emotionally." I know that being the sole breadwinner the thought of "Whats going to happen to my family without my income?" may sometimes add stress and pressure to his already stressful job so I tried to reassure him. Not sure if it helped though. I told him that "I only appear weak, dependant and helpless now becuse you are around mah." (I am old fashioned mah. I like my man to at least appear to be stronger than me. Hehe. Lucky for me he is.)

Why the sudden morbid thoughts? Because I had to do an MRI of the brain recently to look for a brain tumour (they did not find anything so far but I am still kiasi :PpP) and because 5XMom reminded me and then disallowed comments.

Too Many Occassions to Celebrate

*Check check check calander*

April - Baby's birthday

May - Toddler's birthday, Mother's Day, Wedding Anniversary

June - MG's birthday, Father's Day

Mr MG: Hon, why don't we just pick one day and celebrate all the occassions on that day?

MG: ----------- (speechless)

Apart from our own little family, there are many more celebrations, dad's birthday, sisters, brothers, in-laws, nieces, nephews, close friends. Almost every month there is something to celebrate. Sometimes it can be tiring to keep up, to remember, to buy gifts etc.

One of the things we sometimes disagree about is whether to attend those gatherings. "But I just attended a family gathering of yours last week." is a very common sentence. Sometimes we have to bargain "Ok, ok, we go for this one only but not the next one."

Hehe. How does everyone else solve this problem or is it a problem to begin with?