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Wednesday, July 20, 2005



Sleep, baby sleep.

Dear MG,

My baby always cries whenever he wants to sleep. I want to go to him but I keep getting conflicting comments.

My child psychologists says: "Let him cry it out! This will teach him the important skill of falling asleep on his own. "

My Ah Por says: "Don't pick him up or you'll spoil him!"

My best friend says: "I'm not sure what to advise you. My baby is the same. I read somewhere that says not to breastfeed your baby to sleep or he will become dependant on breastfeeding to fall asleep. It says we must put our babies down when they are drowsy so they learn to fall asleep on their own and we will then have more time with our partners. I tried it but then I ended up having to pick him up at least 10 times because he woke up from his drowsy state and tried to climb out of the cot!"

I'm really confused. Please advise. Thank you.

Desperate.



What MG really thinks!

And if I hear of one more mother allowing her baby to cry until he vomits so that he gets trained to fall asleep on his own, I'm going to throw up too!

Please also don't come to me and proudly proclaim that your baby has learned to fall asleep on his own after you have left him to cry it out for an hour. Of course he would fall asleep after crying ...... from EXHAUSTION!



Dear Desperate,

All babies cry. For goodness sakes, just do what you feel like doing instinctively. Pick your baby up to cuddle and love him. Then feel the love, joy and peace flow through you as you watch his beautiful eyelashes fluttering sleepily down his cute little cheeks when you hold him close.

If you are breastfeeding, don't be afraid to breastfeed your baby to sleep. Its very good for baby and you. Your baby will fall into a deep and contented sleep after his breastfeed and you will have more time with your partner. I assure you he would not still be dependant on you to breastfeed him at bedtime by the time he goes to college!

I wish you Happy Cuddling your baby.

MG

That was MG pretending to be an Aunty Agony columnist giving advise to people who write in on matters close to my heart. (But of course if I were a real columnist, I would be much more polite!) If my views don't match yours on baby's sleep, don't fret. Afterall, like I said before, when it comes to parenting, its To Each His Own.

Coming Next: Baby and Toddler's Sleep.

20 comments:

  1. Its hard to see a baby cry him/ herself to sleep, hard on the parents, traumatising for the baby. I agree with you. Cuddle the kid until he/ she falls asleep is better, way, way better. Otherwise, how to create confidence that you are there when needed at a later stage in life when you are not even there when the kid is still small. A baby cannot understand, and just feels lost. May be that is the reason why we feel lost as well, sometimes. Sorry, I am rambling :)

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  2. o yea....now i know why kids are able to fall asleep after screaming/crying their lungs out. exhausted mah!!!!

    there's this one kid opposite my house who screams for NO reason. some kind of attention seeker i suppose. sometimes its SO bad i feel like getting my butt over n giving that kid a tight slap just so she'd shut the peep up.

    i remember one weekend when i was home alone n was on the pc till the wee hours of the morn. n from just before midnite to about 3am in the morning, this kid from down the road, YES, DOWN THE ROAD (some four to five houses away) was crying VERY loudly....well, loud enough to for me to hear. n maybe up to the point of almost wailing. on one hand, it was irritating the crap (sorry abt that, just need to stress here a bit) out of me n on the other hand, i felt like going over to scream at the parent for letting the child be like that. heck, i should have called the polive n report suspected abuse....darn sickening sometimes!!

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  3. Dear MG,

    I have a very serious eating problem. When breakfast, lunch & dinner time comes, I have no idea what to eat. It really stress me out! Usually I'll end-up drive-thru Mc-D, but I cannot afford to do that daily. Oh! Please help me, I really dun know what to do.

    Thank you MG in advance.

    *hi! hi! hi! * ( I oso want to pretend to be people who write in...)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love your post and agree with you! When preg. with Bea1, I read a lot to kononnya prepare myself (more like to make things easy for me when the baby arrived). Later I found it easier to just follow the baby. Given a chance, I'd love to advise new parents, that kids will somehow learn to fall alsleep on their own. I'm happy now that after those nursing, cuddling, or patting-to-sleep, now my girls are just ok, they still share the bed but time sure flies fast! At the moment I'm enjoying it!

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  5. 100% agreed with you! I had never believed in CIO method. I cuddled my gal to sleep since she was born despite many negative comments. Really miss those moments...she is now wanted to sleep by herself, doesn't want mommy to cuddle her to sleep already!

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  6. I am never comfortable in front of a crying baby.
    No matter what the elder generations have to say, I will still cuddle the baby and hold him as though I am a lullaby.
    I don't care what my parents cum babysitters have to say, I just cannot bear listening to a crying baby, furthermore is my own son.

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  7. andreas, you got it right. Its traumatising for the baby. They often have to cry to release some pent up energy and need a little aid to sleep. Sometimes adults have trouble unwinding too but we don't cry, we take sleeping pills!

    misty, I shall try to remember what you said during those times when my house sounds like child abuse going on! lol.

    annie, for a moment there I was wondering what has your food problem got to do with babies sleeping. Hahaha. Anyway here's your reply:

    Dear Annie,

    Here is MG's 7-day food plan. Follow this plan and you will never worry about what to eat again.

    Mon - Breakfast: Roti Canai
    Lunch: Fruits/Soups
    Dinner: Chap Fun/Economy Rice
    Tue - Breakfast: Nasi Lemak
    Lunch: Salad
    Dinner: McD Drive Thru
    Wed - Breakfast: Mee Goreng
    Lunch: Fruits/Soup
    Dinner: Western Meal
    Thur- Breakfast: Sandwiches
    Lunch: Chap Fun
    Dinner: Fruits/Soup
    Fri - Breakfast: Cornflakes
    Lunch: Chicken Rice
    Dinner: Salad
    Sat - Breakfast: Char Koay Teow
    Lunch: Fruits/Soup
    Dinner: Chap Fun
    Sun - Breakfast: Fruits/Soup
    Lunch: Fried Rice
    Dinner: KFC

    MG's important tip: Order the same foods at the same stalls. This way the food vendors will recognise you and know what you want to eat so you don't have to think.
    Good Luck!

    mama22beas, yes. In the early days I worried too much and yes eventually they learn to fall asleep on their own whatever method we use. You said "its easier to follow the baby". Thats very true. Apart from sleeping times, I don't pick baby up all the time. During the day, I let them cry a little bit and sometimes I find the crying will cease all of a sudden and they carry on playing happily, then I know those were crocodile tears. If the crying don't cease, then I will sayang them a little and then they carry on playing happily. The thing is we must "know our babies well" like you said.

    jefferene, wish you could turn back the clock sometimes to relive those precious moments huh?

    egghead, MrMG takes his turn to carry baby to sleep sometimes and he loves it too. Its a great bonding time for parents and babies.

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  8. huh? don't pick them up let them cry? siao ah? then they will cry for the rest of their life man.

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  9. hahaha!! i dont think u are as heartless as them. although i feel that the only reason WHY they actually let the child b is because they are so used to the 'noise' that it doesnt bug them anymore. but seriously....a few hours of non-stop crying really doesnt need looking into, dont u think? parents out there? pls educate this (at the moment) childless person?

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  10. Give me five MG. I just don't understand why some parents still let the babies cry their lungs out when they can't sleep at night. Deaf ah? Just nurse / craddle / rock lah!

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  11. Hey.. MG,
    It was really hard for me too.. when my baby cried and cried.. i only did it once.. and then i cannot tahan to see her like that.. sakit hati lah..!! so now.. she falls asleep in the living room.. while watching a movie with us.. and then we transfer her into her crib.
    Some might say . .my baby is spoilt.. but oh well.. to each his own.. right..??

    ReplyDelete
  12. eeeeee i always can not tahan if he cry out loudly..sure i will be there...'daddy here dont cry...'

    see, my son is calling me now...'daddy daddy daddy dadddy'

    1st, we do not know how long he will cry, especially midnight, we got to sleep also right?
    neighbour also need to sleep (afraid people to come over to slap me too kekekekeke)

    ReplyDelete
  13. a&a'smom10:23 PM, July 23, 2005

    Glad to have u back!

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  15. twinsmom, when both cry and you are alone, then how leh?

    misty, maybe the child had a nightmare. sometimes toddler wakes up in the middle of the night and cries non-stop for 15 minutes. She is inconsollable. This usually happens when she skips an afternoon nap and becomes overtired.

    shoppingmum, High 5!

    Big Bok, Wah! Your tactic very good. Get to watch movies while your baby falls alseep. Like dat, everybody oso happy.

    leecs, your boy so cute. How to resist?

    a&a'smom, couldn't stay away long lah.

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  16. you don't know I can carry two at a time meh? total 23kg.

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  17. lol, thats more than two big bags of rice. You are very stronggggg!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. :) i so agree with you on not letting the baby/toddler cry to sleep. i am also not ready for my kids to sleep in s separate room yet even with much pestering from spouse. he'd used himself as example but i told him firmly that "that was your mom's decision to put you in a separate room; i am the mother now and i don't wanna do that yet. besides, who gets up if they are wake up at night?" me garang or not? heh!

    ReplyDelete
  19. When have you ever seen a grownup need his mother to cuddle him to sleep??? My point is, cuddle as much as you can, because in a few years when they go to school, want to cuddle also cannot!

    I loved cuddling my babies. My girl is now 6, sleeps in my room on her own bed. My boy who's 16mths, sleeps with us. He takes his nan-nan, rolls over satisfied and falls asleep. How like a man...

    ReplyDelete
  20. domesticgoddness very the garang loh. I sked....

    Kc, "He takes his nan-nan, rolls over satisfied and falls asleep. How like a man... "

    LOL. Hahaha. This is soooo funny.

    ReplyDelete

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