Tired

I'm so tired.... Spent all of the five days holidays holed up in the house looking after baby. He was quite sick. He had high fever which wouldn't break. It went down on medication then up again, very high. (Above 39 several times and even above 40 once). He needed sponging and had to put in a suppository on 3 different occassions to bring the fever down.

He lost all his appetite and wouldn't eat ANYTHING for days. His lips became dry and peeling. I had to force feed him medicine on his empty stomach, sponge him etc. Baby was whiny because he was so uncomfortable. He slept quite a lot because he was very tired and whenever he was awake or even semi-awake he called out for me "Amah, Amah, Amah", he whined. (No one else would do, not even daddy) I was worried sick. And now, I'm sick.

I need a break but there is none. How I long for a break but I can't have one. The hubby has just fallen sick himself. My girl has started sneezing and if she starts another new sick cycle, I am going to cry. We're all at different stages of the sick cycle.

Luckily, by yesterday, baby looked much better, almost back to his usual cheerful self and his appetite was back. When he was sick, my girl was neglected. I did not have any energy to play with her (although I tried to give her one on one time when baby was asleep). Still, it was not enough because baby took up most of my time and energy and she sensed it. When her dad asked her to show me something, she said "Baby, doesn't want me to go near HIS mummy."

I noticed that the sibling rivalry heated up considerably when there is inequitable treatment. And so they fought (yah, sick oso can fight), pushing each other feebly and crying mostly. (Really kenot tahan).

I'm so tired. I'm so tired of all the worry, whining, fighting, crying and being on call 24 hours a day. I need a break. :(