Today, I'm going to share my diet secret. I have a couple of totally natural appetite suppresants at home. Its guaranteed to work. Its not a herbal concoction. Its not a synthetic pill. No tiring, sweaty exercise is required. Its totally natural with guaranteed results! Okay, okay, enough selling, now for the secret.
First, you need to have two sick kids. Then you lay your dining table with freshly cooked, good looking food. Then you feed each of them a mouthful. Then you watch as the vomit flow (no, the more correct adjective would be "pour") right out of their little mouths, one after the other, spraying the high chair and dinner table with bile. By now, your appetite is feeling a little suppressed.
Then you tell them "Don't move! Don't touch anything!" while you run around frantically (this is good exercise) searching for some toilet roll to do a quick and simple clean-up of the mess. Then you change one of them and are thankful the other doesn't require a change of clothes. You are also glad, they have not yet taken their dinner and the vomit did not hit the food. After the change you cleanup the table with a wet cloth and proceed to feed the kids. By now, the natural appetite suppresant has fully kicked in. You no longer feel like having your dinner.
And if thats not good enough, you take the sick kids to bed, only to be woken up at 5am by two feverish crying kids. (waking up early is good for health). You feed them medicine, sponge the little one, change them and get them to bed by calming them with 4 stories. It has to be 4 stories or they can't sleep (according to one of them, my girl that is). Then you lie down to rest while rubbing the tummy of the little one who is in pain. Very soon after, the little one throws up on the bed.
So you get up to rinse the soiled bedsheet and give it a nice new change. This time you are thankful his clothes don't need a change. (Theres always something to be thankful for if you look hard enough) Then you breastfeed the kiddo (thats bound to make you lose even more weight) to calm him and get him back to sleep.
Then you are unable to go back to sleep so you get up to blog. There! Dieting secret revealed. Good anot?
Ok, enough nonsense. (1 Sick kid + 1 Sick Kid = 1 mom blogging nonsense.)
Time to go back to ZZZZZZZZZ! Goodnight. Oops. That should be Good Morning.
- Even times like this have its worth in the memories they make.
- Looks like the cold bug has hit us. It hit Mr MG about 2-3 weeks ago and I was just congratulating myself for managing to avoid him passing it to us. Thats no mean feat I tell you. We avoided him and managed to avoid his germs to avoid the unmerry go round. But then my girl got sick (probably from germs picked up at kiddy rides, kiddy rides can be really dirty) about 2 days ago and has now passed it on to her little brother. So it looks like the unmerry go round has started. Will I be next? Better go back to sleep now or else not enough rest = low resistance. I CANNOT afford to fall ill. Afterall, I'm a mom. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.