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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Kids don't always tell us everything

I am at home with the kids and see my kids a lot so we have plenty of opportunities to chat about anything at all including their school day. Typically, we would chat about their school day over lunch and dinner and during bedtime.

However, I still missed the fact, that my boy's food had been stolen from him for the past 3 Fridays. At his school, we have a choice to cater the food or allow the children to buy on their own. We catered the food for him for several reasons.

Usually the school canteen serves food like fried rice and noodles. On Friday, they would serve nuggets and fries. His nugget and fries were not at his usual place for the past 3 weeks. Fortunately, his sister was smart enough to bring him to the counter to request for a new plate of food.

I didn't know about this for 3 whole weeks... because I never asked! Usually, I would ask them about their day whether anything special, funny or sad happened. "How was school today?" is too general. I have to ask them specific questions to get a better idea about what is happening at school. I had forgotten about food. Normally, I would only ask them about what they ate when they are sick or have stomach troubles.

Naturally, I went to inform the canteen. While I was there, another mother was there to pay for the food. The canteen operator told her that her child had not been taking the catered food for the past 2 months! She looked very surprised and said that she had given him money to buy whatever he liked in addition to the catered food. Again, this is the case of not asking and the children not telling.

My boy also has a friend who buys nothing accept packets of junk food for recess as well as for lunch when he has to stay back in school. I think it is important to query your child to find out what they have been buying in school and teach them to buy appropriate food if they are given the money and choice to decide what to eat.

I think it is very important for us parents to talk to the children by asking especially when they are very young. Otherwise we may miss out on some important matters because by the time they are home, they are happy and sometimes all they want to do is play but when they are back at school, they are faced with the same unresolved issues if they don't talk to us about it.... and if we don't ask.


  1. Thanks for highlighting this issue here. I will take note of this as well. We have to be more sensitive and more concern on what they are doing at school(including food).

  2. Yes, noted here. I normally forget to ask my daughter about her day in school. When I asked sometimes she won't want to tell much. Maybe I have to ask her specifically. You think they won't be irritated if we ask too much?

  3. Thanks for the reminder. Early this year, everytime I ask my son something about school, his favourite answer is "I don't know". Now, better, can tell me a few things from school.

  4. Sheoh Yan,
    Also watch out for any signs of bullying.

    Yes, I think they will but I still ask. lol.

    I can't remember is another favourite reply.


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