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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Love is Not Equal

Love is in the Air so must write about love today.

Do you love all of the persons in your life equally? I don't! Top on my list is my spouse, then, my children, followed by my immediate family members. Sorrylah kiddoes. You are the world to me and I love you more than anything and anyone in the world (accept your dad). I love your dad more for without him there would be no you and long after you have grown and spread your wings and left home, he would still be here, hopefully. Hehe. And sorrylah to my own parents, bros and sis. I love you all but my own little family is tops in my heart and in my mind. I know its the same for you too bros and sis for that is the wheel of life.

One often hears mums say that once their children come along, their love for their spouse shifts to the children or dims. Now isn't that sad? To me, my spouse is No 1. In fact, I love him more AFTER the children came along for who can resist a man who is a great father? I was so touched the day I saw him lift my newborn in his arms with the proudest look on his face. My children does not rouse the same passion in me as my spouse does. Although they do receive the most moving and protective love from me ie a mum's love. (There have been mums who have been able to move an entire car off their children in an accident. Such is the wonder of a mum's love.)

However, once the children comes along, it APPEARS that they are getting more love and attention from me. More ATTENTION yes of course for little ones require a lot of energy, attention and love to thrive so poor hubby would often be the last recipient of my attention in my household but more affection? Maybe in appearance only but not in my heart.

So dear, this Valentine's Day, I will do something for you. We don't celebrate the "conventional" or should I say the "commercial" way of giving gifts etc but I will take a little time to think about how to be a better wife to you and try to work on that instead. And since you don't read my blog my dear, this shall be my own little secret! Haha. For no gift is better than a gift from the heart. Giving is richer and more rewarding when you give expecting nothing in return, not even the recipients reaction to your "gift".

So here's my Valentine's Day "gift" to you. For other spouses, it probably requires different ways of loving them but I know you well and I know that to be a better wife to you I need to be (Hmm....hmmm.......MG doing thinking exercise for a couple of minutes):

  • more "sai sum" (thoughtful) as you yourself are
  • bring up your kids better and be more patient with them
  • be more organised and less kelam kabut
  • give you more foot reflexology
  • establish more family routines, stick to them and enjoy and cherish them with you (I know how you hate my fickle mindedness)


  1. I guess this is the best present to all hubbies out there (me included)!

    I am sure your hubby will find out your little secret sooner or later :P

    Happy Valentine!

  2. Very touching post! You are lovey dovey wife!

    I can't forget too when my hubby hugging his newborn and gently walk down the staircase carefully, step by step worried that he might fell and hurt his baby.

  3. Wow, speechless at the show of love for your hubby! Priceless thoughts.

  4. egghead, nyah. he won't find out cos he has not time nor inclination to read blogs, mine included. hahaha. Happy Valentine's Day to you too!

    jefferene, Did you manage to get it down on tape or photo? I still remember lying on the hospital bed, groggy from the GA after delivery and snapping away happily. Hahaha. Quite gila.

    5xmom, Oftentimes after kids, we lose touch with each other as most of the things we do, we do for our kids but isn't doing things for our kids an expression of love too for they are afterall a part of and an extension of us?

  5. wahh...resolution for valentine's day :)...foot reflex also ada, not bad woh

  6. wah so touching ... happy valentine's day!!

  7. I'm so touched reading your post. You're really thoughtful of putting your hubby first in the list, not like most of us who has "slowly forgotten" the one we started the family with after the kids come along. I'll keep what you wrote in mind.

  8. MG, Bravo as that's indeed so thoughtful! As ur marriage matures, it's the little thoughtful everyday things that we do for each other that really matters ya.

  9. jazzmint, donch play play, I got many reflexology books one yunno. Hahaha.

    twin, same to you. How was yours?

    shoppingmum, I should keep it in mind too. Hehe.

    a&a'smom, Happy Valentine's Day to you too.

  10. Aw.. that's sweet..
    For me, Zara is the love of my life. Hubby knows that. :P

    Happy Valentine's Day to you.

  11. awwww...so touching.
    i think i did ask my hubby once who he love more after we got our 1st girl. he said exactly the same as you! :D
    and i love him 1st too...hehe.

  12. zara's mama, wait till you have another little one. Then you'll have more "love of your life." hehe. I like the idea of having more little ones, it means having more people to love!

    miche, wah.. you ask summore ah? hehehe.


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