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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Love Equation

Why do children crave attention so much? Because they equate attention and time spent with them with love, that is why. I recently discovered the truth of this statement personally from my girl.

My girl has become Queen of Pestering of late. "Mummy play with me! Mummy, play with me! Mummy, please play with me! Mummy, pleeeeease! Pleeeeease Mummy, Pleeeease! Mummy, pleeeeease play with me! Pleeeease!" echo through the house all day long while she tags along right behind me sometimes pulling at my clothes.

And when I do play with her, she gives me a big smile and say "Mummy play with me because mummy loves me." Then I would explain to her "Mummy loves you all the time. Not only when mummy is playing with you. You understand or not. Even when mummy is not playing with you, mummy still loves you." Well, lets hope she understands that.

On another note, I have not found a good way to handle the pestering so far. If I ignore her, she pesters non-stop, If I scold her or threaten her with a rotan or put her in a corner, her pleas get louder then she starts to cry non-stop, If I play with her she stops immediately but that would be giving her the wrong message that its ok to pester and whine. Haiyah! Susahnya! Any ideas, anyone?


  1. when you find the way to handle the pestering please share, I need it desparately. I was born in the year of Monkey, but too bad I can't split myself into half to handle the two girls, they are terrible :P.

    but they sure enjoy the toys and games more if the parents can join them, because they can show off how good they are on the toys and games we bought for them.

  2. Think you were on the right track ignoring her. Just busy yourself with your chores/whatever you're doing. If you keep it up long enough and consistently enough, kids will get the message. They'll get bored and they'll give up. Good luck :)

    Remember this is just a phase, you're not ignoring her for good. 2 cents from a mom of teens...

  3. My Ryan is always asking for "Mommy this & Mommy that" wor and Mei Mei also looks for me the minute I leave her alone. Sometimes, I have to sneak away from them quietly to do some chores :(

  4. I used to entertain Wien every pester, hubby said this is not right and had "warn" me to stop it. He "teach" me either let her continue play by herself or play with mei mei.
    So when she pester me, I still go to her and play a while with her, at the same time I will call mei mei to come over and join her. When 2 of them happy playing, i will slowly move out from their group. But sometimes wien refuse mei mei to touch her thing, so i have to stay still a while until she finally mei mei to play with her. After few times of this, now she seldom pester, she can play alone! :)

    Now my another mission is to try to avoid mei mei being so stick to me a superglue!

  5. What I usually do is I join my son for a little while and pull the maid in while I made my way out when he was playing. It always work. I guess he just wants attention and a playmate. :)

  6. My 3month old baby is asking for the same attention too :P Keeps screaming 'Aaah's until I look at her - She keeps quiet and smiles back :D Once I look away, she starts again until so upset :(

    May be you can start a reward system, if she plays by herself quietly for 1-2hr, reward her with a kiss and a mummy playtime of 30mins. What do you think?

    I hope someone can give me some great ideas with my 3month baby girl. can't use reward system on a baby ya?

  7. maria,
    they sure enjoy the toys and games more if the parents can join them, because they can show off how good they are on the toys and games we bought for them.

    Yes. "See, mummy, see, like this....." is something I often hear from my girl.

    Hi, welcome to my blog. I am always to hear from the experiences of the mothers of teens so hope you come around more often to share. :)

    I do a lot of sneaking away too. :P

    I used to be a superglue to baby too but these days a not so much anymore.

    Hmm.. I have forgotten that usually when I do sit down and play with them even for just a little while, they are quite often happy and forget all about me when I sneak away after a while. Its true what you say. All they want is just a little attention.

    The reward system sounds like a very good idea indeed. Thanks!

  8. Sometimes we adults also act like that! haha!

  9. hmm depends on what I'm doing, if I've got something urgent, no matter how much she pester will let her play with maid, if not I'll entertain her a while. So gotta tell her lor so that she knows when can play with her when can't

  10. kuzco,
    Hahaha. Yah, thats true.

    Yes, its good to teach them when can play and when can't.


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