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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Towards Self Feeding

Much has been said and written about toilet training but what about "Self-feeding training"?

Now, I'm very, very bad at this. I don't have the patience and I can't stand the mess. Many a time when I try to get my girl to feed herself, I would end up doing it myself as more food gets into her mouth in less mess and less time that way. How will she ever learn then? And it doesn't help when the Mister (ie Mr MG) acts as a back seat driver with his "Let her practise/You have to train her/let her finish her food herself or else don't give her desserts" etc etc and a host of other back seat driver suggestions. Oh they're really very good ideas and suggestions and he means well but.....

And so on and on we go with the endless cycle. I worry that I'd still have to feed her when she is a lot older than she is now at the rate I/we are going. When I see how well other kids of her age eat on their own, I get even more worried! (BTW, "I worry..." is one of the main vocabulary of a mum). She even hates to eat finger foods as she is afraid of the mess too (must have got that vibe from me) and her baby brother feeds her instead!

Baby is very different from her when it comes to foods and eating habits. I often have to cook two dishes, one for her and one for him as their tastes are so different. Baby likes to try new foods and loves to feed himself. I really should encourage that love so that he can be an independant eater earlier . Usually I encourage the finger eating but when it comes to spoon feeding, I freak out at the mess and take over. Haiyah! When will I ever learn?


  1. I'm constantlyl thinking of weaning the girl from this and that, and trying to let her be more independent, bu I have forgotten to add "self feeding" in my list. OOPs... I'm scare of the mess, I'm more worry if she doesnt eat, so feed feed feed I go. There was once during a trip with a tour group, saw this girl age 7 still being fed by her mum, she would just sit there and read a book or play gameboy, just need open her mouth, food goes in (and she doesnt attend school, home schooling) another girl age 6, very independent and feeding herself. I also dont know until how long I have to feed my girl

  2. I failed in this area miserable. You see, if a kid likes food, then the self-feeding is almost effortless. But what if you get picky eaters like my No2, it is almost impossible to let him feed himself...he picks up everything on the plate and eat 'nasi kosong, mee kosong'. So as long as he is like this, I rather feed him myself or get the maid to do it. When we feed, he eats everything that is on the plate.

    No1 is also a picky eater but as time goes by , he eats more things. So he learnt to eat by himself very late..but still he can do it just late. So I don't worry.

    I see lots of children of their age feeding themselves ...so I just envy them for few more years loh!!!

  3. hey, Mr MG very much alike with my hubby ler, when come to self feeding (Wien)! He said if he saw me feed her, he gonna beat my hand with rottan! siao!!
    wien can feed herself but very slow, so i beh tahan, feed her few spoon! so, MG, u r not alone!! At age 4, i still think she is still small! hehehe

  4. understand all the mess when it comes to feeding, I fear of that too.

  5. Same here.. I understand!

    Champion can quite feed himself with spoon/fork, but with his fingers, half the food falls back on the plate. Lil' President is an expert.. to turn the plate upside down! Luckily both of them are good at finger food.

    When I have the mood and strength, I will allow them to feed themselves, otherwise I will feed them.

  6. let them eat by themselve or I feed them also ended with the smoke on my head.
    So I resirt to let them self feeding, then the second half I feed them. *sigh*... not very helpful right? but then I always think they will self-feed one day, be it at the age of primary school or kindy, they will do it on their own, so I just wait....

  7. May be you can place her beside you, let her self feed with one spoon while you holding another spoon to feed her as well. That way food still go in her mouth and she learns with less mess too.

  8. elaine,
    I hope we don't end up like the mum feeding the 7 year old.

    My two are picky eaters as well with my girl being a little bit more picky than her baby brother.

    Yah, Usually beh tahan because the slowness..........

    Its not just the mess but it takes time as well and they eat less that way. Sometimes really cannot stand it when she starts playing with her food, pushing it this way and then till they fall all over the place accept into her mouth.

    "When I have the mood and strength."
    I hear ya..... or when I am free to feed them one at a time.

    "let them eat by themselve or I feed them also ended with the smoke on my head."
    How true! Well the back seat driver comes out at about the same time as the smoke on my head. Hahaha. (But I saw your girls eating with chopsticks so well in one of your videos! So jeles!)

    Can't do that as I'm busy feeding baby at the same time. Usually I sit at the table with the two kids and feed them both and myself at the dining table while back seat driver gets to sit on the floor in front of the tv! It was a lot simpler when she was trapped in the baby chair. Now her baby brother has taken over the baby chair so she is free to roam about. My mistake was allowing her to roam about previously when I fed baby first followed by her. Now I feed them both at the same time but its hard to stop her roaming as the habit is ingrained. However I make her come to me and don't chase after her but sometimes I yell at her to sit at the table and thats when the back seat driver usually butts in with his suggestions.

  9. i'd aslo freak out at the mess but it's times when we let loose that they can learn more...i try to remind myself that and not worry too much of the mess that i woudl have to clean up afterwards.

  10. yup i remember when my kids started learning to feed themselves. gotta be PATIENT! the big sister will get it pretty soon, trust me!

  11. mom2ashley,
    The only way I won't freak out is to leave them alone with it. What you don't see won't freak you out. But then worried to leave them unsupervised while eating due to choking risk etc so back to square one.

    Oh she can actually feed herself quite well now but impatient mummy often butts in. Hmmm........

  12. I used to be like you, MG. Cannot tahan when Damien was so messy and slow in self-feeding himself.

    But hubby and my mum kept nagging me that i must learn to let go and let him do it himself..i guess i can't 'tahan' their nagging more..so in the end i gave up and let him be...and am happy that i did, cos damien can feed himself quite well now:)

    So...close one eye (or both) when she creates a mess or you can place newspapers under her seat to 'catch' the food that falls. I'm sure you can 'learn' to let her 'learn'...:))

  13. I normally let Zara practice self feeding in restaurant.. Hee hee.. after all.. I don't have to clean up the table mess and the floor mess.. I only have to clean her up.

    But like you.. most times.. I prefer to feed her.. so that she eats faster.. and less messy.

  14. blurblur,
    Must learn from you then. Let it be.....let it be.....let it be.....let it be... (*singing*)

    zara's mama,
    Hehe. I also let her practise at the restaurant. Terrible hor? Psst. Maybe its another reason why mothers like to eat out, apart from not having to cook. :P


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