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Monday, April 10, 2006

Rant of a SAHM

When you're a SAHM, living on one income, with no money of your own..... (this does not apply to those who have money but rather to average income earners who need to save for their children's future)

  • you look at that lovely pair of earrings costing around RM80 but can't/don't buy it and dream about it for months afterwards
  • you want to eat out for a change because you're so tired of feeding the kids and yourself the same meal in the house day in and day out but eating out is sooooo expensive, you feel guilty no matter how much you want to and so you eat in and grumble. The only way you're going to taste new food is if you were hardworking enough to make it yourself but then you don't have the time to because you're always busy with the kids
  • you carry the same old boring black handbag/shoe (to match with everything or anything that you wear) and pass on all the colourful, exciting handbags you can only ogle at (besides why would you need to change handbags so often when you hardly go out anyway?)
  • you lose 15 pounds with sheer hardwork of dieting and exercise and want to reward yourself with a lovely outfit for your new smaller frame but..... "no money no talk"
  • you buy cheap make-up because a branded lipstick costs the same or even more than your whole set of make-up with brushes included!

Oh and this is the ultimate. Hear this. Hear this. Nothing related to this post about expenses but you know you have truly evolved into a SAHM when you wear your best and put on make-up to go to the pasar malam because you're so tired of seeing your own tired, worn out face wearing old t-shirts and oversized shorts at home that even a trip to the pasar malam becomes an outing/event! Somebody help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. Time to get back to work as a SAHM. (*strutting off in my old t-shirt and oversized shorts*). Hope I haven't discouraged any working moms who has been thinking of quitting to look after the kids. Hahaha!


  1. so much i want to say too, but there is only one word -- sama-sama...sister.

  2. but hey..you'll look back some day and heave a sigh of relief and think that it's all worth it!

  3. Helpppp.....somebody is talking about me.!!!!!Nevertheless....at this point of my life, I don't want to be anywhere else except SAHM.

  4. Wow..! MG!!
    You told my whole life story .. !!!

  5. It doesn't discourage me!:P

    As a working mom, I bought cheap lipstick, cheap outfit, cheap handbag and uses it for years too! :P

  6. but u hv the chance to see their first wor..first step, first word, first talking etc etc...that's what we working mum miss that phase!

  7. got a cousin sis, since she's like u, everytime she goes out, be it to her children's school, or pasar malam, or anywhere outside, she dresses up n put on her make-up, people would mistake her for a cover mags... (me myslf also do not put any make-up to ofis-just powder n lipstick.. :).

    Bravo to SAHM... :o

  8. maria,
    *shake hands* *nods head*

    I sure hope so. Sometimes when I hear teenagers who feel ashamed of their non-working moms, I feel like want to cekik them. :P

    Me too!

    mama bok,
    Hehehe. Thats the way it is for us isn't it?

    The only difference is .... you pay for your own cheap stuff. Hahaha! Thats a big detterant on spending I tell you. I hardly ever spend anything on myself, not even the cheap stuff. And when hubby makes some senseless, generalised remark like "husbands work and wives spend" it got me all riled up because I have been depriving on spending on myself and instead of thanking me for it, that was what I got! Thats the reason for this rant actually. I have to rant somewhere because I don't want to complain to him since he has to work doubly hard for our one single income and the pressure on him is all the more so my rant will sound so petty don't you think? Sigh!

    Yes, thats one of the non-monetary perks of the job.

    Lol! So the woman at the kedai runcit dressed up to the nines is probably the SAHM eh? Hahaha.

  9. I am a working mum who wishes to be a SAHM.

    But when I'm at home during long holidays, I can't wait to get out of the house, and even go to work?!!

    Cannot lah, I don't think I can be a SAHM.

    You're good!

  10. Aiyo, don't have to feel bad. I'm working but I find dat reading ur post is like u're it's referring to me too. I don't eat outside - always having home-cooked dinner; buy cheapo make-ups; wearing the same pair of shoes and taking the same handbag to work; used to put on make-up even to pasar or pasar malam but now no time; wearing over-sized t-shirts and shorts at home. Wuah lau eh! No wonder there's a saying dat once u are married and with kids, everything will be so different ... sigh ...

  11. That's why I'm still considering.. to quit or not to quit..

    financial freedom is the greatest lure!

  12. Aiks, was thinking of retiring, opps need to keep my job to enjoy!

  13. a&a'smom6:52 PM, April 10, 2006

    Hahaha very well written! Congrats on losing 15 pounds! I didn't buy much new clothes (after losing 50lbs) because DH not very happy abt spending so much on clothes. So u know what I did? I wore back my prewedding, prekids clothes (abt 13 yrs ago) as I cld fit into them (yes I had still kept all my working yester years clothes). My older boy used to ask me how come I'm wearing new clothes every day, LOL!

  14. aiyoh, you rant and rave my exact thoughts! Sigh!! Double sigh!

  15. yeah,I dig the dressing up part!
    it's just 2 extremes, either very sloppy, or very dressed up. Hahaaa....

  16. At least you still get to put on makeup ok! My face is always bare...... :( I is a total haggard-looking SAHM. Someone help me TOO!

  17. geetha,
    At home during long holidays... you're a teacher?

    I guess most moms, whether working or otherwise would save the best for the kids and make do for themselves yah?

    zara'a mama,
    Save up then quit loh. Then still can have financial freedom. ;)

    Hahaha. Gave you a scare now didn't I?

    You're good! I'm yet to fit into my old clothes. Still got some pounds to go off first.

    At least it helps to know we're not alone eh? ;)

    SAHM is a very nice word for HOUSEWIFE! (S=Stay, A=At, H=Home, M=Mum)

    king's wife,
    Yah. LOL. We swing from one extreme to another. Usually its sloppy most of the time with a swing to the other extreme very occassionally. :P

    My face is usually bare too! Where to find the time to put on make-up? In order to do that, need to prepare like 2 hours in advance since preparing the kids takes one hour in advance and by the time we're done preparing them, we're sweating with make-up running down our faces. Hehehe.

  18. Just have to persevere for a few more years. When they start to leave the nest, you too can start flapping your wings again.

  19. I'm a doctor who's pursuing my Masters ( specialising). We have 2 kids ,3.5 year old boy & 8 month old girl.I go to work at 7:30am and return 5:30pm.On the days I'm on call I stay overnight in hospital.Next day I'm a zombie!! When at home , my uniforn is old shorts and old baggy T shirt !! I wear no make up,cut hair (only) once a month ....no time & interest for make up. The pay's so good it enough for living expenses and little savings only!! I may not be a typical example of my profession though.I'm definately not a glamorous potrayal of a female doctor!! New handbag,new shoes,new outfits....I guess it's a matter of priorities for the moment!!!

  20. Sigh, sounds just like me, but not the pasar malam part, I didn't go to pasar malam after having Justin! I'm so outdated liao...

  21. hei... i intend to b a SAHM..but financial not allow me to do so... even i'm working... i din make up... old cloth.. old shoes n old bag.. all my money go to my thong thong... having a family is like tat.. everything u should think of ur kid 1st.. rite? but ...cheer up... SAHM is great!

  22. lian,
    Oh I'm just ranting but I have no desire to spread my wings right now unless the situation calls for it.

    Phew! Your schedule! You know they say working mums with young children at home are the most stressed out individuals of all.

    Lol. Pasar malam only holds two attractions for me.... the food, and the cheap stickers for my girl. Hehe.

    Thats true. Even when I was working, I didn't spend much on myself but at least I could if I wanted to. ;)

  23. No lah.. I meant those long back to back public holidays.. :)

  24. Heh, I buy 5 pairs of earrings within 30 mins. Only RM10 for 3 pairs mah....And I feel like a million dollar. I took 20 minutes to put on my Silky girl eyeshadow, Mabelline foundation and L'oreal haircare. And I still feel like a million dollar. I go to someplace less interesting than the pasar malam. To the church! To think that I spent 20 mins to go to a place like that for only one hour. Where no man is supposed to lust, no woman supposed to envy. So why la I do that, huh? To feel like a million dollar and stroke my ego. So, chin up , march 1,2,3, 1,2,3 hutt hutt hutt. That's why I have the http://mywomenblog.com! 'How to feel like a tai-tai on a shoestring budget''

  25. 5xmom,
    Oh Great! I'll go check it out. :)

  26. Eventhough I am not a SAHM, I buy and use cheap things too. So that's not so much different on that part.

    All I want to say is, there are good and bad being a SAHM and a non SAHM.

  27. You are a good mum and wife. $$ does not buy love or health. Do what you feel most comfortable and happy doing.
    I never gave up my job though I was very torn when my son had to go to creche and I would lavish him with toys every week. I was put down for being a working mum. Each to their own.
    My husband was a pastor and I had to work to help pay the mortgage.
    I gave up working in 1995 for 5 years, so I know what it is like. Even now that I am working, I still go for bargains and go without somethings because my kids' wants and needs come first. They get more expensive as they get older! LOL


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