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Thursday, September 08, 2005



Its so Easy..... (Reflections of a SAHM - Part 4)

Its so easy.....

  1. to shake/throw a crying baby who won't stop crying
  2. to leave a baby sitting in his poo/pee when you've changed one diaper too many
  3. to slap a toddler who won't eat food you've so painfully prepared
  4. to hit a noisy child who won't stop whining (its ok to hit to discipline but I'm talking about hitting very hard.. much more than is justified)
  5. to beat up a kid who messes up after everything you've just cleaned/picked up
  6. to starve a helpless baby who refuses to drink up his/her milk
  7. to lock up a kid unattended in a room so that you'd have some private time/they'd quit following you around when you're too busy
  8. to forget simple child safety measures when you are too distracted (eg. letting a child get too near the fire, playing with telephone or other cords, not being nearby to monitor when a child is climbing all over unsafe furniture, allowing a child to eat foods that could be choking hazards unsupervised etc.. its a long, looo...nng list)
  9. to let a naughty kid have his/her way (ie to give in to unreasonable demands) so that you could get on with whatever it is you need to do (the opposite of hitting too hard)
  10. to ignore/neglect a baby who needs attention when you're preoccupied

Its just too easy to abuse/neglect a helpless baby/child especially a child who is not old enough to tell. And it becomes easier and easier the more and more hours you have to deal with the baby/child. I know. Cos' I have to deal with 2 under 4 years of age 24/7 and I have to constantly remind myself not to do any of those things above. And I'm the mother! What more a maid/sitter who is unrelated to the child. Especially if its a young maid from a foreign country struggling to make a living away from her own family and friends in an unfamiliar place. Gosh. Scary!

Why I'm a SAHM.....

I don't have any mum or mum-in-law who could help out (Even if I had I would not ask them to help out. Looking after young kids is very hard work and I think its unfair to ask our elderly parents to help us out when they should be enjoying their golden years. Hey! They've already gone through the tough part with us! Let them enjoy a little bit now.)

I could never leave my child alone with a maid at home and I have no one to act as a watchful eye (Its important to have another adult around to spy monitor the situation at home) so that too is out of the question.

I hate the idea of leaving my little ones at a sitter when they are so young (I'd like them to be in the comfort of their own home, not needing to be woken up very early and rushed from place to place. Life is a rush, so why start rushing them so young) so thats out too. My kids wake up when they've had enough rest. And they wake up to a relaxed mummy who's there to play with them a little before breakfast. I don't have to wake them up from their sleep, then change a sleepy baby and rush them out of the house. I just hate the thought of having to do that.)

Being of such untrusting nature. Hehe. (Especially when it comes to my kids), thats why I'm a SAHM. In my 10 points above, I was merely talking about the basic act of childcare ie feeding and cleaning but theres so much more to it. Theres the act of nurturing, disciplining, teaching, guiding, giving love and attention to build security and so much more. How could I possibly leave all that to another person to handle for hours on end? So thats why I'm a SAHM and loving it!

Disclaimer: These are my personal opinions. Please understand that I'm not saying theres anything wrong with mums who do not care for their children themselves full time. So don't flame me. :)

14 comments:

  1. hey..the next time you are tempted to do one of your "it's so easy" stuff....think of this poem..http://daddeesgal.blogspot.com/2005/09/poem.html

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  2. Hey Dinah. Thats lovely. I'll bookmark it to remind me. :P

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  3. Hey.. MG,
    Thank you very much...!! exactly my same sentiments.. why i cannot leave my brat with just any babysitter.. or anyone.
    Thank you ..!!

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  4. Aiyo..why you remind me of all the things I'm guilty off???? Now have to go hug my kids and say sorry for all those things I've done to them!!! My poor babies..stuck with a bad-tempered mommie..even worse than being with a babysitter because I'm not doing it for the money and supposed to be the one who loves them the most!! boo-hoo-hoo...

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  5. Hi Big Bok, :)

    Hi KC, We are like Mummy Jekkyl and Mrs Hide. One minute loving mummy, next minute turned into monster! :O

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  6. *sigh* feel so guilty of not being able to be with them 24/7... eventhough I'd very much like to be a SAHM and not having to worry about money, I don't have a choice :(

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  7. dg, some have the misconception that SAHM very lucky becos no need to worry about money, can be with the kids 24/7, but its not always the case. We have to worry about money and have to learn to live more frugally and economically on one income.

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  8. even though if beat the kids for misbehave, at least I'm the one who can beat them, no one else can do it.
    Kids is easy to care, but not easy to take care. even though I sometime closed one eye let the girls go to BIL's house, I still very worry, actually whole day worry...SAHM syndrome

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  9. SAHM syndrome. Haha. I like that. After taking care ourselves, we become extra paranoid about leaving the kids with just about anyone!

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  10. God bless all the SAHM!!
    and also some SAHD!!

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  11. Good grief. Lay it on the working mom. Now I feel like such a loser. I know that may not have been ur intentions, but still.

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  12. egghead, nice or not? become SAHD? ;)

    Along. Haha. You're suffering from what we call the Guilty Mama Syndrome. We all do. Actually, I talk only. It may very well turn out that I'd have to send my two lovelies to preschool and baby sitter in the not too distant future. I'd shut up then. In fact, I'd have to shut down my blog then too. :(

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  13. I think your comment about not asking grandparents to help out is rather selfish. My mum lost my dad three years ago and all she lives for now is the grandchildren. She loves being with them, especially when it's just her and them, and if I didn't ask her to help out from time to time her life would be pointless. I know lots of grandparents who live far from their kids and it tears them apart. It's good for the kids too to know their grandparents really well before it's too late.

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  14. Anon,
    You misunderstand me. If you read more of my blog post, you will know that I would love for my kids to know their grandparents. They only have one grandparent. Its very sad. The others have all passed on. My kids never had the chance to know them. My mother passed away while I was 10 and my FIL before I even knew my hubby. My MIL passed away when my firstborn was just 1 or 2 years old. Now, theres only my father and he has dementia. So I for one would definitely love for my kids to interact with their grandparents but pity they do not have any to dote upon them the way that grandparents only can.

    I was merely talking about those who leave the total caring of their children to their grandparents including toilet training etc etc. You ask your mum to help out from time to time. Who said there was anything wrong with that? I certainly didn't. Thats perfectly ok and very nice. I wish I could do that. There is a difference between being involved and being left in total charge. I know sometimes its difficult because one has no choice but I also think you should not simply comment and call one selfish without knowing the full picture or by reading between the lines.

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