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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Reflections of a SAHM - Part 1

"He's afraid. He's resentful, frustrated and depressed. He feels trapped by his responsibility to provide for his family. He's locked into a job or career that he no longer enjoys because he must keep the kids in college and make payments on the house and car.If he's like most men, he may be in responsibility overload and desperately in need of a break from financial responsibilities and the daily demands of work that he's probably had since he got out of school. He may resent the fact he cannot make the choices that so many women can as far as choosing whether or not they want to work and at what. He needs a long break from responsibility but he knows that is an impossibility. If he stops, he loses everything he has worked so hard for, but, if he doesn't stop, there is a good chance he will lose it anyway. He's trapped."

excerpts from the article "HIS Midlife Crisis! Will Your Relationship Survive?" by Pat Gaudette, founder of The Midlife Club

My greatest regret about becoming a SAHM (housewife) is the pressure it puts on my man. Unlike women, most of the time, a man has no choice. He can't say "I want to quit to look after the kids." Thats tough!

Its even harder for men whose wives do not work. Not happy with the job? Not happy with the boss? the company? the long hours? etc etc??? Just grin and bear it or change jobs but change is never easy especially if your whole household depends on your one single income. The pressure must be tremendous. Sigh.

Somedays, I feel like my man is out there fighting a fire breathing mythical creature while me and the kids are in our cave protected and safe. Perhaps its time for me to don an armour to fight the creature alongside my man.


  1. I guess our armour is keeping the home and kids trouble-free. Who wants to come home to a yellow-faced dragon going 'nag,nag, the kids drove me up the wall, your turn to take the kids, nag nag' (occasionally I do sound off if it had been a particularly stressful day..). One less problem for him to worry about, no?

    Most of the time when my dh comes home, the kids are fed and clean and ready to go to bed after half an hour of tumbling with dad. That's the least I can do after he's been fighting dragons the whole day...

    Not to worry, our men are stronger than we think. If we can handle motherhood singlehandedly, they can take care of their work. I believe we are genetically wired to do so! Male - provider. Female - nurturer.

  2. `Hi KC, Thanks for the wise words. Its just what I need! :)

  3. Thanks, my partner has a job and helps financially in the family as well(early years)she is still working.
    Like you said things are easier if both work especailly on finance for the family.Lucky for us my mum helps in looking after her grandkids.
    Anyway those where the early years of marriage.If one partner only work and he has a stable and well paid job than I guess it okay for the half to stay at home.
    It all boils down to dicussion and communication between the 2 parties on work or don't work.

  4. Hey.. MG,
    I know that feeling..! i feel that way sometimes too... instead of helping him run the store.. i wanna go out and earn someone else's money.

  5. thquah, than you must remember to appreciate the missus :) You are right of course. It all boils down to discussion and communication between two parties.

    big bok, funny, the way you put it "I want to go out and earn someone else's money." lol

  6. well, that's life lor. i must prepare for the day when Mrs B join your SAHM gang.

  7. this is what sometime make me feel want to go out and find job.

  8. Belachan, than you must read my Part 2 & 3. Hahaha. Self advertisement.

    Maria, you know exactly how I feel.

  9. hey..I'd love to be a SAHM if I have the choice....it's not easy I must say but i think it is worth every bit! keep it up!


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