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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The Best of Me

Once Mr MG asked me: "How come you speak nicely to a stranger and put on your best behavior to a neighbour/acquaintance but when it comes to your own husband, the person you profess to love, you shout and act so ugly?"

Oops! Thats so true isn't it? Often its the persons closest to us, those who matter the most, who receive the worse part of us coz' we're too tired/stressed/familiar/too at ease with the person to be bothered. We often put on our best front for people we hardly know but when it comes to those who are close to us, the persons who matter the most, we let loose and show them our ugly side giving Familiarity breeds contempt its true meaning.

Another example is how people often dress up to the nines to go out with friends (especially friends whom one has not met up with for a while) but when going out with their own spouse , they are often sloppy and couldn't care less about their own appearance. Why such double standards? Why treat other people nicer than your own spouse?

I'm guilty of this silly behaviour. Yes I am. Ever since he asked me this question several years ago, I'm still guilty of this strange behaviour. Hmm... must strive harder to give him and those whom I love the best of me not the worse side.

On another note, the plumber who came to fix my plumbing was a very grumpy and irritable man. He spoke as if he was about to have a fight with the person he's speaking to and was very negative. Eg: "No lah! No one fixes the plumbing in this manner *grumble grumble grumble* etc.

When I commented to Mr MG about how grumpy the plumber was, his response was "I'm surprised you said that because thats the way you behave most of the time." (said teasingly with a smile of course or else MG sudah merajuk and this blog post will sound very different, haha). "OMG, really ah." I said but of course I realise that its quite true. Sometimes when the kids give me too much stress, I tend to grumble a lot, my face blacker than black and I get easily irritated by the slightest thing. Thats another example of how my family is the on the receiving end of the worse part of me.

So, MG's mantra for today is "Remember to give the best of me..... remember to give the best of me..... repeat....."


  1. It happens because we took the person for granted. :( The closer we are, the stronger the friendship bond is, the more loving between 2 person, this situation is most likely to happen. Its not the 1st time happening to me. :)

  2. Yeah, I am guilty of that too...and feel even worse when he comes home after a long day and find me with apron and an oily face while cooking dinner in the kitchen. But then again, can't expect me to be nicely made up while standing over a heated wok! *shrug*

  3. Hahaha...now I know where my girls like to be with daddy, may be my face also ugly, voice also rude when I with the girls.
    err...no lar...I go out also wear nice nice, afraid ppl thought I am the maid again, or ppl thought I'm twinsdad's mother or elder sister, though I elder than him a year only, don't deserve this kind of "compliment" lar.

  4. Finally mumsgather reappeared! I thought you were drown in those AARRGGHH! :D

    Actually I pity your husband lah. Don't do this to him too often. I am always in your husband's shoes, and I complaint once in my blog "Are We Family or Enemy?". Unfortunately (or fortunately) DH doesn't read my blog...

  5. MG - I have 'adoring' sessions sometimes. You know, 5xdad reading the papers, and I sat there looking at his face like a lost puppy. Then, I kena shoo-ed away. Awww...not fair, his son sat there adoring him get hugs and kisses, I get farted upon. LOL! It happened just yesterday. So, lesson learnt, don't bother too much about showing the best part.

  6. I'm also guilty wor... *repeat after MG, Remember to give the best of me.....*

  7. Aiyah mustlah always give the best to Mr.MG.Must also always check mood and in control of emotions,then everything in top of the world meh.

  8. Jason, we take ppl for granted too easily and appreciate ppl too little yes?

    bkworm, I'm trying to imagine you nicely made up while standing over a heated wok. Haha.

    yah hor twinsmom, get mistaken for maid or elder sister very "charrm". khihkhikhi.

    lazybone, wait huh, I go and read your that post soon so that I learn from you. :-)

    Haha 5Xmom, you still got time to do the eye gazing thing meh? You ah... always make me laugh.

    thquah, yes, yes, thanks for the reminder. Thats one of two things I must work on 1)control emotions 2) communication skills.

  9. lazybone, I can't find your post. Can give the link url or not?

  10. Ah.. so well said.. MG... :) or should i say well-written.. ;)
    I too fall prey on the ugly chinese woman side many a times.

  11. Oh, that post is quite sometimes ago. Nothing much to learn lah, just complaining that DH is being rude only, and worried if Ian may follow. :)
    Anyway, if you are interested, here it is:

  12. This happen few weeks ago, 1+2dad like to shout or scold me in front of the kids so i mar annoying lor i said you wont do that b4 why this day you do it to me.hehe..later on no more so rude to me liao. Sometime things must say out then the other side will know dun just keep quite.

  13. MrsT, Whats going on with your blog again? Its disappeared again and I was waiting for you to reappear to ask you!

    lazybone, thanks. I'll check it out.

    1+2mom, yah, I agree that must voice out and don't just assume your partner will get it.

  14. MrsT, I'm not so sure its a chinese woman thing. I think its universal and applies to both sexes as well. After a hard days work ordering everyone around sometimes some ppl come home and order their spouse around or after a whole day of being told what to do they then go home and tell their spouse what to do irrespective or race or sex. Thats my view.

  15. So how is your control coming along? Sometimes I can hear neighbours scolding their kids and my first thought is "So unpleasant! poor kids, stop shouting!". Then I realise "sh*t! that's how they hear me too!!" Really malufying...(red-faced..) So have to take time to sayang the kids esp before the go to bed, and manja-manja DH a bit, esp at night after the kids are asleep. But sometimes it's really difficult to control the temper, and the words come out before I can count to 5 (expert advice from anger management guru from TheStar say harshest words come out in a second, so count beyond that 1 second to hold back words). Please share your tips on how not to blow up!!

  16. kc, oh my goodness. Yes, really malufying now that you've mentioned it. Must myself better. Tips? I think I need tips from you!


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