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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Secret Confessions of a Blogaholic

My fingers are twitching again. I try to resist but I can't stop thinking about it. The thoughts swirl around my head endlessly. I just can't seem to stop myself. I can't concentrate. I can't sleep. Oh no! Not the twitching fingers again. I've got to resist. Yes, I must resist! I try to do something else but it is no use. I have to give in to the temptation.

I've got something to confess........

I've just created yet another blog to satisfy my urge to blog. After a while, one blog isn't enough anymore. Not when you have the urge to write, write and write and to play with blog templates and blog tools. Hehe.

Sounds like a blogaholic? If you are a blogaholic too, you can confess here at this Blogaholics Annonymous post by leaving an annonymous comment. Muahahahahaha.

Luckily my "addiction" is under control as I still have weekends and public holidays off. So happy holidays to everyone especially those who have taken Friday off for a long weekend. Cheers! Skipping off to my new blog.

Record your Birthday Greeting voices for Lisa(SCB)

Just want to help to pass the word around.

Lisa's (SCB) birthday is just round the corner. (5th September) and a few bloggers are organising a Happy Birthday recorded message for her. Please go over to the for siao cha bor blog for the details. Deadline for recording your messages is Thursday 31st of August 2006 Malaysian Time 10.00am.

For those of you who don't know, the blogger SCB is recovering from coma. She has woken up from coma but she still needs your prayers for a speedy recovery. Thank you.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Kibarkan Jalur Gemilang!

In keeping with the spirit of nationalism, I am "flying" our national flag on my blog from today till 31st August. Selamat Hari Merdeka to all Malaysians and Happy Holidays. Have a good one. Cheers!




Monday, August 28, 2006

Different child rearing values between parents and grandparents

"You talk too much. I'm not bringing any of your cousins to see you. I don't like you. Nobody likes you because you talk too much. Nobody wants to come and see you."

My girl tends to be chatty to the point of annoyance. Recently when my dad couldn't stand it anymore, that was what he told her. This has happened more than once. He has said the above to her a few times in different words but the message is the same.

I do not think it is good for a child to hear such negative things. I want to bring up a self-confident child with good self esteem and hearing such things is not good for anyone's esteem. So when I heard that, I immediately told my girl (in the presence of my dad) "No. Kong kong is just kidding. You are sometimes a bit noisy but that does not mean that nobody likes you because of it."

First, I did not bother to explain to my dad because he thinks differently. He will only say I am spoiling my girl and I feel hurt because he has scolded her etc. He is also not young. He has had a stroke and I treasure every moment that he is still around with us so if I could, I would keep quiet instead of arguing with him.

However, I did not hesitate but to explain to my girl in front of my dad. He just smiled but I wonder how he felt and what went on in his head. Perhaps I should have waited till he was out of sight before explaining but I was afraid that she would have forgotten about the incident and to bring it up again would have been unneccessary. Did I do the right thing?

Immediately after that, when dad wanted to leave, my girl said "Kong kong naughty. Don't come again." to which I immediately reprimanded her and asked her to apologise to her grandfather. She only did so reluctantly and after being told off by me repeatedly to which kong kong said "She won't say one lah. She is very stubborn."

Sometimes as parents we are caught between our children and their grandparents. Sometimes they feel the way we bring up our children is wrong. However, my problem in this area is limited to the twice a week visits from my dad. The rest of the grandparents are all gone now, sadly. I wonder how those who stay with their parents or in-laws handle or cope when their child rearing values clash. Its must be tough to be caught in the middle.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Peer Pressure

"My mom is a lawyer"
"My mom is a teacher"
"My mom runs her own business"
"My mom is a regional sales GM"
"My mom is an accountant"
"Errrrr... my mom is a......... errr........ housewife"

It is my hope as a SAHM that my kids will not face this kind of peer pressure later on in life. Peer pressure in the life of a young child or teen takes many forms, the comparison of material items including the comparison of their parents. I wonder how I should teach them to reply? I wonder if they will feel ashamed in the face of this kind of peer pressure. I know they should not feel ashamed but would they????

I just love this comment from James, so I'm putting it up here on the main post:

"My mommy dedicates her life to staying at home with me so that I would grow up to be a good, well-adjusted person and not an insufferable little braggart like you."


Thursday, August 24, 2006

Free Balloons

Heard this from my girl during naptime....

My Girl: Mummy, last time daddy beat with hand but now the balloon pop already, the stick can beat people.

When my girl was younger, she was fascinated with balloons. She was so enthralled and thrilled by them. Being eager first time parents, we often queued up at the malls to receive free balloons just so we could look at her delighted face. Not only did we queue up, we would actually look out to see which promoter was giving out free balloons and try to make our way there. I think this was our first stage of parenting.

We have since moved on to the second stage of parenting. Now, when we see free balloons, we avoid them like the plaque. We try not to walk in front of a promoter who is handing out free balloons to the kids. If we happen to pass one, we shake our heads vigorously indicating no! Those annoying balloons just gets into everyone's face when the kids do not carry them well and afterwards we don't know what to do with them. Even the balloon stick has been turned into a disciplining cane!

I wonder what is in store for us in the next stage of parenting.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Sex Education

Recently, while I was changing my boy, he started pulling at his private parts when it was exposed after I removed the diaper. I suppose it must have felt itchy so he was relieved to have it exposed for a while. Haha. My Girl was nearby and this was what she said:

My Girl: Mummy, look, baby is pulling his backside. He looks so funny!

MG: Hahaha.

My Girl: Mummy, why baby got tail there, I don't have?

MG: Haha. Thats because he is a boy and you are a girl. That is why.

My Girl: Daddy got tail also.

MG: Hahahahaha.

Looks like its time for some sex education starting with the explanation of different body parts for different genders. Lol! (In fact I have explained it to her before and informed her of the proper names to the body parts but I think she must have forgotten. Proabably I did not emphasize it strongly enough afraid that she would go around shouting it at public places. You know how children are.)

Zara calls it hairy pineapple. To my girl, it looks like a tail. Lol! Any other funny descriptions to share?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

When is mooncake festival 2006?

Sadly, when my mum died, so then did my knowledge of all things cultural. Mum was no longer around to celebrate the events and explain them firsthand to me. All that I knew came from reading, not experience.

Each time there is an upcoming cultural event or celebration, I would first know about it when I see the food associated with the event being sold at the malls. Then, I would "celebrate" by eating the food. Thats all there is to it. So sad isn't it?

Well, I've started seeing mooncakes being sold at the malls. So my next question is "When is mooncake festival in 2006?" A quick search tells me it falls on 6th October in the year 2006.

That means its almost time to get the kiddoes some lanterns to play with and get the customary mooncake to "makan" on 6th October. The mooncakes are getting more and more expensive and taste less and less like mooncakes every year. Now thats a sad thing too.

The kids are still young so batttery operated lanterns seems safer but why can't someone make them without the annoyingly loud and lousy music? Must remember to buy some masking tape to mask out the sound. Last year I managed to find a little Hello Kitty one the size of a palm and minus the music 'cos its so small. Its adorable and my girl loved it. Hope they sell them again this year.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Forget Slimming Aids and Slimming Centres (All it takes is a little determination and Willpower)

I have not been a fat person for most of my life but after my two babies, I became one. I could no longer recognise myself in the mirror and if I didn't, so too the people around me. Sometime in October, I decided that enough is enough and so I made a resolution to lose weight and thats what I did. I lost around 8-10 pounds in around 6 months from that resolution. However, after losing, I became lazy and now my weight has stabilized around 125 pounds. So its time to renew my resolution and start from a new base.

Its not hard to lose weight really. All it takes is some self discipline. There is no need for any slimming aids or slimming centres. What is required is the correct state of mind, a plan and the determination to follow through that plan. There is no difference in losing weight on your own or through a slimming centre. When you walk in to a slimming centre with the aim to lose weight half the battle has been won because you have decided to make a change and so you follow the plan and diet set up for you.

  • I am my own "slimming centre". Today I am renewing my plan to lose weight and follow through my own diet and exercise regime which I have slacked.
  • I do not need any slimming aids. I will just eat wisely and do my exercises diligently. (Speaking of slimming aids, the most ridiculous ones I've seen around recently are the ones you wear around your waist and vibrates or the other which you sit on a saddle and get rocked about like on a horse. How on earth is any of those contraptions going to help anyone to lose weight is beyond my comprehension and they don't come cheap)

Wish me luck. I will report on my success on this blog. Ok. Time to go and do my salsacise now.

Friday, August 18, 2006

The one who collects the brochures and leaflets

A while ago (probably ages ago is more like it) I was having lunch with some girlfriends. We were having a good time talking and laughing about our relationships. During that conversation, we discovered that among the many couples we knew, there is usually one who collects brochures and leaflets and another who can't stand to have them lying around creating a big mess.

Well, between hubby and me, I'm the one who likes to collect brochures and leaflets. I'm the more disorganised one afterall. Not sure why, but I really like to collect brochures and leaflets and "study" them. Lol!

I especially like Ikea for home ideas, those flowers and gifts brochures from some company (I can't remember the name), Toysarus newsletters, free magazines from Jusco and Guardian (anything free, I like!), little menus from restaurants and fast food outlets. I'd study them from cover to cover. Lol!

Take me to an exhibition and I'm bound to return with more brochures and pamphlets from each stall. (*rolls eyes at myself*)

And hubby will go "Why do you keep all these brochures in your handbag?". My girlfriend tells me she's got hers stashed up on her living room table and forgets about them making a mess. Another one says her husband is the one who collects the brochures and she has to pick up after him.

Do you collect any brochures and leaflets? Or is it a passtime for bored people?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Pencil Shaving Flower Craft for kids

I vaguely remembered doing some artwork in primary school using coloured pencil shavings and told my girl about it one day while I was sharpening her colour pencils. Since then she has been pestering me to do it with her. Unfortunately I couldn't find any good ideas on the internet to follow so I had to make do with my own imagination to stop her from pestering me. She can be very persistent! Lol!

I'm not very artistic so it didn't turn out as nice as I had envisioned. Hahaha. I had imagined lovely daisies, pretty rosebuds and beautiful sunflowers but what we got was this instead.

Here's what we used for the flower craft:

  1. Art Paper
  2. Coloured Pencil Shavings
  3. Glue

Here's how we did the flower craft:

First we sharpened some coloured pencils in various colours and collected the shavings. Then we glued them onto the art paper and decorated the rest of the picture. We decorated ours by drawing a flower pot for the flowers. I helped my girl (and my boy) to glue the flowers on and had her draw in the grass in the pot, the flower stem, leaves and butterflies. According to her the blue butterfly she drew at the side has a big smile and is sticking its red tongue out. Haha. Kids and their imagination.

As usual, baby not wanting to be a mere onlooker also helped to draw a few lines for the stems, coloured the flower pot and helped to press the flowers with the glue on together with his sister. Not knowing what to do with the balance colourful wax left behind from the pencil sharpenings, we put some extra glue on the paper and sprinkled them all over for extra colour and texture. Its not great to look at but as usual the kids enjoyed the session which is whats most important.

And in case anyone is wondering, NO, a SAHM does not have a lot of free time to do such crafts with the kids. Our crafts always take very little time. (The childrens' crafts are usually very cheap and require very little resources as well) This flower craft only took about 20 minutes from start to finish including clearing up. And then we're off to another activity.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Things Children Say

We were having sweet and sour fish for lunch.....

My Girl: Mummy, why does the fish look so sad? (Runs her fingers across the fish lips)

MG: ------------------

My Girl: Maybe, its because it has no more eyes.

MG: ------------------

Ewe! I think I'm going to become a vegetarian now!

Categories, Tags and Privacy Settings for Blogger Blogs At Last

At last Blogger is giving itself a much awaited facelift to include some of the following features:
  • Categories - Woohoo! Can't wait to categorize my posts
  • Privacy - Yeah! Can now choose your readers so need to do less self-cencorship
  • Tagging - They've called it Labelling but it works the same way as Technorati Tags
  • Designs - There'll be more templates to choose from and it'll be easier to change the look of your blog with new drag and drop elements.
  • Others - Some other changes like more feed options, an updated dashboard and instant publishing

At the moment the changes are still in beta or test drive version. So existing users have to wait a while before getting a chance to upgrade (unless you have an upgrade link in your dashboard) but if you can't wait, you can start a new blog to test it out since you can create a new account using the beta version.

For poor people like me who can't afford to have my own domain, this is a welcome and long awaited change indeed. Yipeee!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

He doesn't send me flowers BUT........

Women are more romantic than men and thats not a myth. I think we're just wired that way, that is all.

I was having a good laugh when I read New Kid On The Blog's post on Where have all the flowers gone where she wrote a very good list of why she stopped receiving flowers from her husband. Lol!

Here is my reply to her in her comments board.

Hahahaha. You're the lucky one. My man only gave me flowers ONCE. I repeat ONCE when he was trying to court me a loooong, looooong time ago..... And about 2 years ago, he bought some artificial flowers for me to decorate the house with during Chinese New Year and with great effort, he said they were supposed to indicate his love forever or something to that effect because they last longer. Well, we've since thrown them away when the children broke the vase. Muahahahahaha. Thats how love and romance is in a marriage.

For most, they probably can identify with the song You don't bring me flowers........ anymore by Babara Streisand and Neil Diamond. (Unless you're too young to have heard that song. Lol!) but for me its You don't bring me flowers.... before (only once). Hahaha. My unromantic man even told me once before that at least he has not changed from courting days. He never used to give me flowers and he still doesn't! *faints* Hahahaha.

I take it all in good fun. Afterall in a marriage you must be able to make silly jokes and laugh about it together. To me, laughter is very important in a marriage and my man can make me laugh. He is not romantic but he is very loving and he is a sentimental kind of guy. He loves to reminisce about our pass moments together and likes to take a trip down memory lane to our sweet moments. He loves routine and he thought me that it is through family routines that makes it easier for us to recall the sharing of our time together. He is the one who taught me how to be happy about little things and he taught me how to think more positively. I used to be such a pessimist. So, ok I don't mind that he doesn't send me flowers. Although it would be really nice if he did. Hahahaha. Women! We are a hopeless romantic lot aren't we?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Broken Record

I have two broken records in the house.

Baby has recently discovered the magic word "want". So all day long, when he sees either a toy or some food which he likes, he would go "I want" "I want" "I want"..........just like a broken record.

And then there's his sister. His sister is getting to be rather emotional, going around often with pleas and tears. All day long she would go around in this pleading in this sequence.....

  • "mummy please play with me" / "mummy I want to play with ....... afterwards" / "mummy I want some ribena....afterwards" (If she starts her "mummy I want some ribena" baby will start his "I want" I want" I want" too thats for sure.)
  • "mummy please say okay. Ok mummy? Mummy please? please mummy please, please say okay? pleeease? Say okay....... mummy? mummy?!"
  • "afterwards mummy" "No, not later/tomorrow/tonight", "Afterwards!" "Say okay, mummy, please say ok?" "mummy? mummy?!" tailing me as she keeps repeating her pleas.

Then she starts to cry if she doesn't get what she wants or if I reprimand her for whining, she'll then go....

  • "mummy, say happy, happy, happy" (which will start her baby brother saying "happy happy happy" too while he tries to smile at me)
  • "mummy please say happy, happy, happy. Ok mummy? Mummy please? please mummy please, please say happy, happy. happy? pleeease? Say happy, happy, happy....... mummy? mummy?!"

And no, I can't just give her a grudging or grumpy "Happy". It has to be a "Happy, happy, happy" (3x "happy" with a smile). And if I show an angry or displeased face, she'll then start begging for a hug. Thats my broken record No. 2.

Aiyoh! I tell you. It really drives me up the wall sometimes. I'm beggining to sound like a broken record myself now. "Eeeeaayea, you two can't you stop fighting?!" "Go play by yourself for a while, mummy has got things to do." "No, you can't play with this now, its late. We'll play with it tomorrow." (Which will lead to another round of begging for "afterwards" instead of "tonight", "tomorrow", or "later". "No, you can't have ribena now, Its time for milk........" etc.

When Mr MG gets back from work most days, he is greeted by 3 broken records or the above scene. Nice or not? Really don't know what to do about this!

Friday, August 11, 2006

How to put a rss feed on your blog or website

I have just added a rss feed of my Mothering Times blog in the sidebar of this blog. (under the heading "from my other blog") This means that everytime I update that blog, the link to the new blog post will be listed on my sidebar here.

I used this free generator from RSS to Javascript.com to convert my rss feed into a code I can just copy and paste onto my blog. (I love copy and paste! I love copy and paste!) Everything I have done on my blog is through copy and paste plus trial and error without any technical knowledge.

The rss feed converter is very easy to use. All you have to do is to find out the url of the feed you wish to convert, key it in, choose the default (it will blend the background colours, font colours and size into your blog for you) and hey presto its done at the click of a button.

You can put just about any rss feed you like on your blog. Some news feeds you follow and would like to refer to easily when you go to your blog (Afterall if you have a blog you're bound to check it often so why not add some news or other stuff you are interested in right on your blog for your own easy referral.) Or you can put a feed in to blend in with your blog theme to make it more interesting so that you will have fresh content on your blog when you are too busy to update. It can be anything. World news, fashion, food, sports, entertainment gossip, parenting ..... the choice is yours. The feed url to most websites is usually easily available on the website itself so that its easier for people to subscribe to the feeds. For example, you can find the rss to The Star Online paper listed here with a simple explanation about rss feeds.

If you are too lazy to search for the url of feeds to add you can also get them easily through websites offering free rss news/content for your site. Just do a search for "free rss content for your site" or something to that effect and you will find a list of those sites in your search results.

I put in the rss feed to my other blog because I need to do some marketing and promotion on my other blog to earn some adsense revenue. Hahaha. Hey! If I don't market it on my own blog, who will right? I've got to make my links easily accessible.

Note: For those using blogspot, the url to your feed is yourblogurl followed by atom.xml For example, the url to this blog's feed is http://mumsgather.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Related Posts about subscribing to rss feeds:

You are tracked!

Nice Evening At The Park

One day this week hubby came home early and said "Lets take the kids to the park". The weather was lovely. No haze. Pretty white clouds and clear blue skies, still bright but not too hot, not yet cold, just cool.

There were lots to see at the park. Lots of people. Teenagers playing basketball. Maids playing badminton. Grandparents with happy little grandchildren tagging along. More teenagers playing football. People walking their dogs, joggers.

The kids loved it. We normally take them to the park on weekends so a trip to the park during a weekday is a treat indeed. They ran on ahead of us on the jogging path forgetting all about us. Hubby and I got to hold hands and "pak tor" as we looked at them and smiled while we chatted about our day and this and that. (Thats why its good for the kids to have siblings, so they have each other as playmates. We encouraged them to hold each other's hands so we could hold each other's hands. Lol!)

A wonderful evening indeed.

Simple moments like these are what memories are made of.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Pay More Attention to the little ones

We were sitting on the sofa together.....

My Girl: I love you! Hmmmph! (Spoken in a huff and sounding annoyed)

My Girl: Hmmmph! Want to hug hug you also cannot! (Still annoyed)

MG: Why?

My Girl: You watch TV only.......

MG: Hahahaha

Oops! I was busy paying attention to the TV instead of to my girl but luckily she told me so!

And no, I'm no TV addict. In fact, I hardly ever watch TV. I don't have the time! I don't even have ASTRO in my home and I don't miss it. I was merely distracted and wasn't listening. Sometimes we brush off what the little ones are saying when we are busy or we tune out when they say repetitive sentences over and over again. I should really try not to do that. It makes them feel bad and unimportant. Afterall, I don't like it when my spouse is not listening or brushes me off so why should the little ones like being treated that way?

Today's mantra: "Pay more attention to the little ones. Pay more attention to the little ones."

And as if on cue, I received this in my email today:

If your preschooler took a minute to think about her happiest times, she would probably realize that what makes her happiest is you. And that's the first key to creating a happy child says Hallowell. "Connect with them, play with them," he advises. "If you're having fun with them, they're having fun. If you create what I call a 'connected childhood,' that is by far the best step to guarantee your child will be happy."

Excerpt taken from ParentCentre's article on "How to Raise a Happy Child"

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I'm Rich!

No, I didn't strike 4D.

I'M RICH! ............ that is if I choose to believe stupid crap mails like this:

Loterias y Apuestas des Estad,

Ref: MCX /51456/SP
Batch: DPA/79233/SP

Attention: Winner,
We wish to bring to your knowledge about our recently concluded draw of euro millions lotterij (Loterias y Apuestas des Estad in Madrid,Spain), online Sweepstakes International program held on the 21st of June,2006 and that you are one of the FOUR LUCKY WINNERS and your email address is attached to
Serial Numbers : M034/945/171-D
Ref -No: MCX/2852306/EU
SecurityCode No : DPA/8404/04/08
Lucky numbers : 02, 04, 09, 38, 50
with lucky stars numbers 06,08 respectively which subsequently won in the 2nd category. As a result of this, you have been approved to claim a total sum of US$745,590.21 USD(SEVEN HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE THOUSAND,FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY,TWENTY-ONE CENT UNITED STATES DOLLARS) in cash
credited to security-file numbers- NL235DMX/DPA from a total Cash of $58million United States Dollars.

Be informed that all participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web-sites through computerized ballot system drawn from over 85,000 individuals and corporate bodies that are listed online. No tickets were sold.This promotion takes place weekly and it is sponsor by
Micro-soft,Dell,Grundig Electronics,Acer, Shells, Infosys,Imtech,Total, Gericom
etc to mention but a few and the sole purpose of this program is to
encourage computer globalization.
After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged as one of the lucky winners in the 2nd Category and your prize award has been insured with your e-mail address and will be transferred to you upon meeting our requirements,statutory obligations, verifications,validations and satisfactory report. Please note that your lucky winning numbers falls within our European booklet representative office as indicated in this notification. In view of this, your winning sum of US$745,590.21 USD(SEVEN HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE THOUSAND,FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY,TWENTY-ONE CENT UNITED
STATES DOLLARS )would be released to you by our payment/representatives in your preferred mode of payment. Please,to file in for your claim,contact our Claim Agents:
Dr Gills Wiltord of
Reply-Email: dpaconsults@yahoo.co.uk
Alternative Reply-Email: dpaconsult@myway.com
Telephone: +31-623-997-527
Please,remember that all winnings must be claimed within 15 days prior to the receipt of thisnotification and after this period all unclaimed fund will be declared null and void.
Please, remember to furnish our claim agents with the following
winning/claim requirements:
1. Full Names & Address
2. Sex
3. Age
4. Tel/Fax Numbers.
5. occupation.
Due to mix-up, you are advise to quote your reference and Batch numbers in all correspondence as this will avoid delay and complications in the processing of your winning. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claim is processed and your winning fund is remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program.This is important as a case of double claim will not be tolerated. Also staff and members of an affiliated agencies are not eligible to participate in this program. Please be warned.
Yours faithfully,
Mrs Ann Winwijk.
Alternative Reply-Email: dpaconsult@myway.com
or this:


Dear Sir/madam,
Please, l apologize for using this medium to reach you. My name is
Roslizah Ramlah Binti Rahman,i am a Malaysian, I work as the Head of Logistic Dept to NATIONAL WEST CHARTERED FINANCE COMPANY.i decided to contact you, to be my partner in business so as to help me raise capital to invest in a profitable business . I have been working with (N.W.C) company for the past 6 years.Within this period, I have watched With meticulous interest how African heads of states and government functionaries have been using
They bring in, these Consignments of money and secretly declare the content as, precious stones, family treasure Etc. The late Mobutu Seseko of Zaire, the late Gnassingbe Eyadema of Togo etc. These past heads of states and president have hundreds of consignments deposited with NATIONAL WEST CHARTERED COMPANY IN LONDON HERE. Their foreign partners, friends,
and relatives, have claimed most of this consignments. A lot of them are still unclaimed for as much as 10years; nobody may ever come for them, Because in most cases, the documents of deposit are never available to any body except the depositor, and most of them are dead. Since the inception of the 2000 millennium, NATIONAL WEST CHARTERED management changed the policy/procedure of claims of consignments. That as on as you are able to produce all the secret information as contained in the secret file of any Consignment, it will be released to you upon demand. The
late Mobutu Seseko has over 7 Consignments, deposited with several names and codes and so many nationality's. 4 of this consignment have been claimed in past (10) Ten months, after his Death. I have finished every arrangement as to the claim, for you to come and claim consignments, No.1011 containing $15 million Dollars and No.1012 containing $20 million Dollars, My plan is to supply you with all the information and documents regarding the Deposit of the Consignment by Email. Nobody will ever know I am involved in this deal in the company. I suggest upon conclusion, we share 50-50. I assure you that the business have been planned for 2 years now, and it is very secure. Please you can reach me as soon as you receive this mail.so that i can furnish you with more details how to apply to NATIONAL WEST CHARTERED COMPANY.
Hope to hear from you soonest,

bye Rosliza Ramlah Binti Rahman.
Sometimes new technology is such a pain with junk mail like these. How could the senders of such mails even think that anyone could fall for such a ridiculous scam? Or has anyone?

This just reminds me that there are a lot of people out there eager to make a fast buck out of others even if they had to cheat to do it. One easy way to cheat people is to feed on their greed. My ex-boss once fell into the trap of a professional con man because of her own greed and hatred for her competitors to her business.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Financial Model For Couples

I just came from reading Sesame's post on Women, don't shortchange ourselves and since I have too much to say, I decided not to comment and write another post myself.

One of the things a married couple must handle together is money, naturally. I believe there are clearly 3 ways one can choose to manage the money. To me, there's no right or wrong way. What works for one couple may not for another. What works for each couple is the right way for them as long as they (both) are happy with the arrangement. As a couple we can choose to manage the money either:
  1. Separately - I earn, you earn. I pay my bills, you pay your bills, the rest we divide and pay separately. I have my bank account, you have yours. I don't ask about yours, you don't ask about mine. This works fine for many couples but I personally don't like it, but thats just me. I think it works well if you both have lots of cash to spare so theres no need to worry about money. Otherwise, it can give rise to potential problems if you can't agree with how the money is spent.
  2. Jointly - You pool your resources together, then prioritise where and how the money should be spent and you try to stick to those priorities. We do this, even though I don't contribute to the finances. Well, even if I were earning, I still like this arrangement. Although not everything should be pooled jointly, there should be some degree of autonomy ie having separate as well as joint accounts but the idea is to share and discuss the financial responsibilities. We prioritise our money in this order, making sure we can pay the monthly household bills and mortgage, investments and savings for the future for the kids and retirement, little things to make the kids happy, and lastly ourselves. As for investment decisions, I like to give my opinion but generally I don't mind leaving that decision to hubby.
  3. One party manages - To me, this is the worse kind of arrangement but then again, thats just me. Unless you have a responsible partner who knows how to save for the future as well as relax a bit when called for, having one person manage the finances fully either places too much burden on one party or it can give rise to mismanagement.

Just like everything else in a marriage, money issues should be handled with care, consideration and lots of give and take. We are afterall very different creatures and the way we have been brought up shapes to a certain extent the way we spend our money, ie whether we are spendrift, savers, frivolous or careful with money. When we are very different in our spending behaviour it can lead to potential conflict so we have to discuss it and come to an agreement on the preferred way to manage our money.

Love Equation

Why do children crave attention so much? Because they equate attention and time spent with them with love, that is why. I recently discovered the truth of this statement personally from my girl.

My girl has become Queen of Pestering of late. "Mummy play with me! Mummy, play with me! Mummy, please play with me! Mummy, pleeeeease! Pleeeeease Mummy, Pleeeease! Mummy, pleeeeease play with me! Pleeeease!" echo through the house all day long while she tags along right behind me sometimes pulling at my clothes.

And when I do play with her, she gives me a big smile and say "Mummy play with me because mummy loves me." Then I would explain to her "Mummy loves you all the time. Not only when mummy is playing with you. You understand or not. Even when mummy is not playing with you, mummy still loves you." Well, lets hope she understands that.

On another note, I have not found a good way to handle the pestering so far. If I ignore her, she pesters non-stop, If I scold her or threaten her with a rotan or put her in a corner, her pleas get louder then she starts to cry non-stop, If I play with her she stops immediately but that would be giving her the wrong message that its ok to pester and whine. Haiyah! Susahnya! Any ideas, anyone?

Friday, August 04, 2006

Sibling Love

The kids fight all the time but they also show love towards one another.

Sometimes when we scold one of them and they start to cry, the other will quickly run and bring a tissue for the sibling to wipe their eyes. Its really amusing and heartening to watch.

Sometimes when we look like we are in a threatening position (like about to scold baby) or even when we are just tickling or playing with him for fun but it looks a little rough to my girl she will quickly rush to his defense and say with an angry look "That is my brother!" as if to tell us to stop and leave him alone. Its really amusing the way she says it.

One of my hopes as a parent is to see my kids grow up and continue to be friends and family to each other for the rest of their lives. I know of many siblings who played together as kids but no longer talk to each other as adults. That to me is an extremely sad thing.

In my opinion, one of the ways a parent actually contributes towards sibling rivalry is by playing favouritism. Having a favourite child/children can create a rift between the siblings.

As a mother, I hope to encourage my children to remain close to each other, to be able to support each other when we (the parents) are no longer around and to be the family that they can count on in times of need, for always. Nothing beats that secure feeling, knowing you have family you can count on, knowing there are family who will be there for you no matter what, family who will pick you up when you are down or encourage you when you fail or lend a helping hand when you are in need.

Afterall, they say "blood is thicker than water." Friends may come and friends may go but you can't pick your siblings and they are with you for life, if only you will let them.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

That Loving Gesture....

I have some loving gestures towards Mr MG which gets thrown out the window when I am mad at him. Sometimes when we disagree, I...
  • shout
  • slam doors
  • walk out (not out of the house but midway during a conversation)
  • stop talking (cold war has been declared)
  • withold my loving gestures

On the other hand, he almost always will....

  • speak calmly and rationally (sometimes irritating me further becos he is too rational. hehe)
  • hardly raise his voice
  • never slam doors
  • sometimes declare a cold war too
  • seldom withold a loving gesture

I sometimes wonder if men and women argue differently when they have a disagreement. Some of my female friends and relatives report almost the same observations as me when they have a fight with their spouse. Often, the men are still calm and rational. Maybe women are more hot headed and emotional afterall eh?

Mr MG had once asked me. "Why do you stop doing the things you normally do for me when your are angry with me? That should not be the way. Things should not suddenly be so different just because we have a disagreement"

He is right of course. Non-loving gestures feed upon itself and create negative feelings that sometimes lasts longer than the fight. (It is also harder to get out off. Hehe. Getting back into a loving mode is harder to do after you have behaved like a kid throwing a tantrum.)

So these days, I'm trying to work on my self-control and still be nice even when I'm angry. I will still do the things I normally do for him and sometimes I even give him a foot massage when I am still angry. In a marriage, one has to learn that conflicts cannot be resolved overnight. In a marriage, one should also realise that if you want to win all the time in an argument, you will lose out in the end when more bad feelings are created. Bad feelings built up in this manner is akin to building a brick wall between you and your spouse. You lay the bricks each time you are mad and the wall gets thicker and higher over time until it creates a rift between you and your spouse.

I hope that I succeed in my mission of self-control. It is really so much easier to shout, slam cupboard doors and declare a cold war than to control my own anger and response. Wish me luck! (And no, we didn't have any argument. I just wanted to reflect and remind myself of the need to have self control)

Other Related Posts:

Empathy Vs Resentment
Top Ten Couple Wars
Food Wars
Do You Shout At Your Spouse In Front of Your Kids?

Unrelated to this post:

Not sure why I'm seeing rubbish bins, waste bins, trash containers and recycling bin ad links among my ads. Maybe I'm talking to much rubbish on my blog. Hahaha.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

More Kid's Craft : Homemade Card

One of the ways to help my kids look forward to certain events or important dates is to keep on talking about the event or date (before the event) with them. We mark the calander together to look forward to it and we do activities together. And after the event, we usually recap by talking about how the day or event went.

We made a homemade card for Mr MG for Father's Day. (Yes, I know its a long time ago but I forgot to post this up. Hehe.) I borrowed the card idea from another blogger's Mother's Day card. (Aren't blogs just great?) Thank you Geetha!

Geetha thought me how to do the kids handprints for the card. We painted a border and used hand-me-down stick on earings given to my girl for decoration. It looked like little heart, star and other shaped shiny studs embossed on the card. Nice but not nicely captured by this amateur photographer.

This is the inside of the card as drawn by my girl. The stick figures with long hair is supposed to be the ladies ie me and her and the other two represented Daddy and baby.

Pssst. I just updated my other blog with the following post. How to make sure your firstborn child accept the new baby Those parents who are interested in this topic can hop over to that blog. Otherwise, see ya. Hehe. Just me doing a little bit of shameless self advertisement.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Have some common sense and common decency when you share common facilities

Blurblur asked me to share some of my girl's aunty traits. So here it is:

My Girl: Mummy, that is not a parking place! Why those people so naughty one? Simply, simply park!

MG: Yah lor. Because their mummies didn't teach them loh. Thats why.

My Girl: Mummy, they should park in those parking bays there!

Now, don't you just hate it when you live in a place where you have to share common facilities and other common areas and then you come across people who don't know where parking bays are, where the ashtray is, where the rubbish bins are and worse still, where their own toilets are?

Parking indiscriminately like the road was built by their grandfathers seem to be a very common practise. However, not knowing where the parking bay is can't beat those that don't know where the rubbish bins are.

I have come across neighbours who leave their trash at their front door for all to smell simply because they cannot stand the smell of their own trash but are too lazy to carry the trash to the proper designated rubbish bins. If you can't stand the smell of your own trash, is it nice for you to put it at your front door for your neighbours to whiff in your smelly rubbish and especially if you just had durians?

Then there are those who throw trash straight out their windows like the whole world is a big rubbish bin! Or those who try to stuff their big bags of rubbish into the small rubbish cans meant for small tissues and other stuff instead of carrying it a few steps further to the proper big bins.

There are also those who think the elevator is a big tong sampah (rubbish bin) and throw their food and other stuff there.

Once, I even came across a neighbour peeing near an ashtray near the elevator. *Pukes* And his house was only a few more steps away. I am at a loss for words on what to say for that!

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