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Friday, May 04, 2007

"Mummy has epilepsy, sweetie."

Sometimes being a parent means dealing with difficult questions like these....

"I'm scared by the sounds you made" (My girl told me this when I was explaining to her about my condition and my recent seizure, which unfortunately happened right in front of them a few times that day. I worried like mad about how they would be affected by it. Its a very scary sight to see someone in a seizure with their eyes rolled back, biting their tongue, going stiff then shaking uncontrollably and becoming unconcious and not being able to respond to anyone.)
"Its ok sweetie. (gives her a hug) Its good that you tell mummy that you are scared. Next time you are scared of something or anything at all, please tell mummy or daddy about it. Mummy has epilepsy and people with epilepsy will sometimes have fits or seizures. When you see mummy having a fit, you must call daddy, ok?" (She was ok with this reply and was pleased to learn big big words like "epilepsy" and learning to call her daddy using speed dial on the phone.)

"Why mummy not feeling well?" (My boy who is younger kept on asking this)
"Mummy is ok now." (Hug hug hug hug. Smiles and hugs him. He is younger so his answer is simpler :) )

"Why you go to hospital and not to doctor?"
"When you are a little sick, you go to see a doctor at the clinic, when you are more sick, you go to the hospital"

"Why you must stay there, cannot come back?" (Here meant hospital)
"So that the doctors can take care of mummy, then mummy can get better quickly and come back soon."

"What is that thing they put over your mouth?" (cups her hands over her nose and mouth)
"That is an oxygen mask. It helps people to breathe."
"Whats breathe?" and so on and so forth. Lol!

"What is the wire inside your nose?"
"That is to help me breathe."

"He scared mummy fall down"

Now, in their games, I see them playing "not feeling well", then arranging pillows and lying on them pretending that it is a stretcher because they saw mummy on a stretcher and sometimes I see my boy pretending to walk backwards and fall down (because thats what happened when I had a seizure). I let them play their games because children learn to understand new things and cope through their little games.

When the kids came to see me at the hospital, I was very touched when my girl came up to me and said "I love you, mummy." and my boy said to me "Mummy, can I pinch you?" Haha. Because pinching the pimple on my chin is his very favourite thing to do. I have a permaneant mark on my chin from his constant pinching! These touching moments make being a parent and handling all those difficult questions very worthwhile indeed! And to all mothers, cherish being a mother.


  1. Your kids will learn to understand and good to educate them in order to for them to understand plus to be able to assist you...

  2. MG, u really such a brave mummy! It is indeed gr8 that u r able to answer so well the questrions ur kids ask.

  3. It's good to be honest with them. And your kids are so sweet, no matter what, they'll always love you ;)

  4. Hi Mg, I was wondering what was the problem you mentioned on my blog earlier. I'm so sorry to hear about your epilepsy and am glad you're okay now.

    Are your neighbours home during the day? Is there someone your girl could call out to for help after calling dad on the phone?

    You have lovely kids. It's so reassuring when they express their love for us.

  5. channelwong,
    Its better to talk to them openly about it then allow them to be afraid and not be able to talk to me about it, yes?

    Not brave at all. Just mother instinct. I believe ANY mother will be able to do the same. :)

    my lil venture,
    Yes, I was happy when my girl came up to me right away, smiled her sweet smile and said "I love you." Its definitely not prompted by her dad as he is soooo unexpresive. Hahaha.

    I have arranged for a part time helper to be around as often for most of the day so theres another adult in, just in case. Thanks. You can read about it on my personal blog. Link on my sidebar.

  6. you are really strong mommy. I am so touch by your kids too. Its good that they understand and caring.

  7. You are really good in helping them cope and to understand the situation better. Your openness is helping them feel secure.

  8. its nice ya to have 2 lovely darling to come and ask u innocent questions like this. prove that they are genuine.

  9. It's heartbreaking to be sick.. and worry how our young ones will understand the whole situation.. which they prolly wouldn't now. But it's always good.. to create awareness.. so they are not afraid of it.

  10. Kudos to your kids. They are taking it very well. And yes, their games will always reflect upon how they learn and cope with things around them. Happy Mother's Day!

  11. nicole,
    I certainly hope they were not too frightened by it.

    I hope to have an open relationship with the kids and I believe in order to do that we have to start from when they are young.

    Yes, its nice isn't it? They are such darlings but sometimes a bit of a monster too. Haha.

    mama bok,
    Its also important to create awareness so they can help call their daddy in case anything happens.

    Happy Mother's Day to you too! :)

  12. ya..u really a brave mummy and u got two loving kids that love u so much..take care!

  13. i hope u are better... take care ok?

    my dad used to have epilepsy too, result of a brain infection...
    and i think your explanation to them was good, and the part that they can treat is like a game, is them accepting it too...

    i like the touching moments a lot... :D

  14. annie,
    Hardly brave, just necessary. :P

    Epilepsy is hard on the family members too, not just on the one with the condition, I think. Its scary and its worrying. However, one thing I am glad about is that its me and not any of them. I do worry about the fact that there is a higher chance of them getting it since they have a mother with it though. :(

    Another thing. About the replies to the kids. Its easier to answer them now that the girl is older. Two years ago when I had my first seizure, I could not answer her when she asked me "Why mummy not feeling well? Why mummy got blood there?" (pointing to my lips). She was only 3 then and she would ask me this out of the blue sometimes. (Unfortunately she also happened to see the fit which happened during sleep as I was sleeping with her and I really couldn't answer her then.) All I could say was "Its ok. Its ok. Mummy is ok now." Thats hardly an explanation. And I worried like mad about her and what she felt.

  15. Goodness!!! I didn't know you have epilepsy! Gosh, but you're doing the right thing. I sincerely hope you're doing ok by now. You did the right thing with the kids! Be upfront and a little nonchalant about it help them deal with the situation easier.

    Please remain healthy!!!

  16. marsha,
    I didn't know it either. I just got diagnosed very recently and am still struggling to come to terms with it. You can read more about that here.

  17. MG, sorry about your epilepsy. I like the way you answer your kids though.

    Zara occasionally still ask me about the things she saw when she came to the hospital to visit me when I gave birth to Zaria.

  18. zara's mama,
    The kids ask a lot of questions because thats how they learn.


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