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Friday, October 17, 2008

How To Help A Child Overcome The Fear Of Failure

"Mummy, what if everyone laughs at me."

My girl has been practising very hard for an upcoming performance. I try to help her as much as I can by providing the props that she needs etc.

However, most important of them all, I am trying to help her build her confidence. I like this Parenting Tip on How to help Children Overcome the Fear of Failure. An excerpt from the article goes like this....

How do you teach your children to overcome fear of failure? The first step is to redefine the definition of failure. It is important to teach your kids that they fail when they are not trying. If they try to do something and fail, you should never belittle them for their failures. In fact, you should encourage and praise them, if they are really working hard. Children need to learn that they should never look for the easy way out. Redefining failure can take away the fear. You children will learn to take risks and pursue their dreams. Overcoming fear of failure will be one of the most important skills in their life.

I like the part where it says "It is important to teach your kids that they fail when they are not trying." It is also true that "Overcoming fear of failure will be one of the most important skills in their life."

So even though this is just a kindy performance, I am working very hard together with my girl to build her confidence. I believe it is a stepping stone on how she will be able to handle other things in life later on. Hubby also gives her little prep talks whenever he can.

I tell her that everyone is a little afraid of speaking in public but as long as she tries very hard she will have succeeded and I tell her that she has my unconditional love no matter what. I praise her for trying but I do not overdo my praise. I tell her that this part is good but perhaps she should try harder in that area etc.

We playfully sing Julie Andrew's "I have Confidence" song from The Sound of Music and she laughs when I tell her even Maria (Julie Andrews) is afraid. She especially likes the part when Maria says "Oh Help!"

Hopefully she can overcome her fear of failure, do well in her performance and this will give a boost to her confidence level.

As a parent, I teach my child ABCs and 123s but this is another area which I believe should not be overlooked. I believe that positive thinking is a skill that can be built and should be instilled from young. And this performance is a good opportunity for me to teach my girl.


  1. yes, absolutely...kids need to try in order to gain the world!

  2. Oh, I absolutely all the songs in the 'Sound of Music'! My nursery children loved to sing 'Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,..." and "Do, Re, Mi'.

  3. Looks like I omitted the word 'love' from my comment.

  4. contendtedmom,
    So do adults. hehe.

    Yes, I love those songs too and so do my kids. We can sing them over and over again. :)


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