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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

What Is A Friend?

Friends are people who ....
  • support you when you're feeling down
  • encourage you in your new endevours
  • cheer you on
  • give you a pat on the back
  • cry with you
  • laugh with you
  • know you well
  • give you advise when you need it
  • etc

Now, in a very strange way, that makes bloggers friends doesn't it? Because they do exactly that. And yet, you've never met them, nor know how some of them look like, and perhaps you may never even meet them.

Yes, its very strange indeed. Yet, some of my blogger friends do all of the above for me much more than my real friends. Sadly, as you grow older, you also grow apart from some of your friends. Why, some of my friends whom I giggled with and stayed together with for longer than a year, now no longer bother to keep in touch. I don't think they even know that I have a second kid nor care! Thats the sad state of things. *Sobs*

I find that the best of friends are those made in your growing years, those whom you meet in school. All the rest, the colleagues you get along so well with at work, etc sort of just drift apart when you no longer work together. Oh, you may still get together once in a while but its just not the same kind of friendship as your childhood friends.

I have a friend of 23 years. We parted many years ago and she gave me a gift. A decorative stand with the words something to this effect "Though we're apart, when we meet again, we just pick up from where we left off as though we've never really been apart." Something like that. I don't remember the exact words but I think thats the message and thats exactly how I feel with this friend.

There were some years when we were not in touch at all but when we got in touch again, things just felt the same, no awkwardness at all. Maybe we just belong to the same wavelength, thats why. We used to call each other "twins". And after all these years, we're still both the same person we were back then and we've both grown too, horizontally that is. Lol!

Then there are other close friends, whom after some years of not being in touch, you just feel awkward and can't find the right things to say to each other nor find common things to talk about anymore. And there are a lot of those cases. Sigh!

Anyway, I'm trying to spread the blogging virus fever to her encourage my old friend to blog, so that we can keep more closely in touch again. So to my fellow blogger friends. Can you do me a favour and drop by her blog to leave her a comment and help me encourage her to maintain her blog? She has a way with words and you'd enjoy reading her blog. Do welcome her to the world of blogging and share with her what joy blogging has brought to you. Hehe. Can anot? For me? (*fluttering short eyelashes). Thank you.

Another thing, I have a question. Do you consider bloggers your friends or mere acquaintances ie people you just happen to meet along the way of life. I suppose they're both. Some of them are merely superficial (you just happen to bump into them in passing in cyberspace) while you can actually feel a real connection with some others. You've just got to weed out or be able to tell between the genuine concern from those who just comment for the sake of commenting. Don't you think?


  1. Bloggers that I have met are my friends and friends that I care. They might not be as good friend as those you hang out all the time with, but they are the ones who will give you support and care at the right time.

    Not to mention, some of them are my makan kakis. When these bloggers have later "evolved" to your friend, they don't bother leaving comments in your blog anymore. Don't you think so? Haha!

  2. Some friends are for life, some are just for a season and some enter our life for a reasons.
    Bloggers are friends in a unique way.

  3. Bloggers can start out as cyber-friends and end up as good reality friends :)

  4. Finally the other day i get to meet some of my blogger frens. I think we share the common interest compared to some old frens of mine, cos they're not married and do not have a child yet. So with bloggers, we talk about our kids and some other bloggers we, tokkok. Sometimes i will share my sakit hati stories with some of them and they will console me, and also shared thiers with me. I like them..bloggers are gd frens..

  5. Okie dokie.. i can do that.. ;) go to FH blog.. i mean.. ;)
    We "kawan-kawan" or not now..?? kekekkee!!

  6. jason,
    Ya kah. In that case, I better not meet you, so that you continue dropping comments on my blog. Hahahaha.

    contented mum,
    Yes, very well put. I think thats it.

    You mean cyber friends are not "real" friends? Hehe.

    Oh yes, I saw your photos in a blog. All of you look really lovely and...... young! Lol!

    mama bok,
    Of course we are kawan-kawan. Hehe.

  7. Yes madam, I shall hop over to your friend's blog ;) Btw MG, you took the words out of my post..hee hee..I was just putting down points on a post similar to yours, grumbling about how few friends I really have :)

  8. MG, been there and will go there when I get home from work (some ppl have to work, sigh!). She writes a bit like you.....'siang pang sar'. Looking forward to going through her archives tonight.

  9. I have one good friend and she doesn't visit my blog, nor do we meet often or even call each other. Our communication is via sms and that's also not frequent. Yet, I consider her my good friend.

    I would consider some bloggers my online friends. Some of they have a genuine interest in what I write. I can tell from their comments. Others, like what you say, just comment for the sake of doing so. And which I am still alright with. It is those who lurk and perhaps harbour malicious intent which I loathe...

  10. I also lost touch with lots of childhood friends and make new group of friends in blogs..maybe due to different interest..

  11. I do treat all blogger fellows as my friend...as in if i don't see them posting for awhile, i wonder what's happening to them...

    I have a close friend whom i've known for close to 20 years...and like you and your friend, we can always pick up from where we left, even though we seldom meet up nowadays...

  12. yea..took the words right out of my errr..mouth.

    perhaps we just have no time left for our friends. But making the effort goes a longggg way!!!Plus, to overseasmum..bloggin is one emotional and friendly outlet!!!!

    I've only received very positive vibes through it..and I only just started mine out!

  13. Thank you, thank you, you can't imagine how happy I was when I saw the number of people who have visited me. It's nice to have people drop by when you are sleeping and even when you are in your PJs. He he, no need to change, no need to serve drinks or food. I have yet to discover the joys of blogging but I am beginning to get some inkling. Still a little tentative, just in case kena tembak when posting some insensitive comment. Thanks to Sasha, Jason, mamabok, contented mum, immomsdaughter and dr ve thru for coming by. If I missed anyone I didn't mean to. Thanks MG, you are truly a friend. I will definitely visit each and everyone that comes to my blog. Thanks 100X
    To all MGs blogger friends, she is indeed someone to listen to.

  14. MG, to answer your question re bloggers friend or acquaintances, I can honestly say that all who visited and commented on my blog have become very 'good' friends. I have met a couple of them and email 6 of them of which two are 2nd cousins whom I have never met, three bloggers and my lau peng yu who has also started blogging.
    Another thing I want to say about good friends is that we can sit together and not make an effort to talk and yet feel most comfortable about the silence.

  15. immomsdaughter,
    Each time during a festival, hubby's phone would beep all day while mine remain quiet. Then I would pout, bring his phone to him and say "Mr. Popular, another message for you. I donch have becos I got no friends!" Hehe. Sour grapes eh? But seriously, I have too few friends. Feel like such a recluse or something.

    Gosh! Yes, I hope theres no lurkers here. Its creepy!

    With blogs, those with common interests will be drawn to you and vice versa, so in a way its easier to cultivate friendships this way.

    Yes, I do miss my blogger friends too, when they don't post and don't say why.

    Probably, I don't make enough effort, thats why I have very few friends remaining. Sob. sob.

    We better stop this mutual admiration before everyone pukes. Hahaha.

    Yes, the main thing is there is no awkwardness. You just feel comfortable with each other, even in silence.

  16. I got to know a couple of good friends in blog/internet world. I am glad I did and met some of them.

    Ever since I moved to Penang, I lost touched with so many friends in KL. However I made so many new friends.

  17. michelle,
    Oh yes, when you move, you lose some too.

  18. Hi MG. Have not been visiting you for a while. Will take some time to go through your older posts!

    Just want to tell you that I really enjoy and empathise with your stories. Not just because our boys are of the same age, and we both had firstborn girls. I can relate with most of what you write about, and your stories about DH too! I can only wish I have the same dedication. I don't even have the discipline to visit you everyday!!

    I have met some really nice people through blogging. I suppose you will know instinctively who is superficial and who is not through comments. I hope one day, we can have the opportunity to meet.

  19. Halo MG, I've been browsing thru ur blog for awhile now. U really hv a great thing going. As I'm also a SAHM, ur ideas n tips are real good references.
    Talking abt good frens, I'm vy thankful I've got a no. of the 'frens forever' type. And it's really sad when 'old' frens grow apart as the yrs go by. I think it has a lot to do with the stage of life we're in. It's rather difficult to stay close if u're not at the same stage (eg. married, with kids, etc). Maybe that's y it's vy ez to make frens thru blogging/forums.

  20. Kat,
    Hey! You've got your own blog now. Good. Now I can visit you too. :)

    Hi, welcome to my blog. :) I think what you say is true. Through blogging and forums you naturally "meet" those in the same life stage you're in.


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