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Monday, April 18, 2005

Emotional Milestones

The thing that I noticed about my kids is they discover emotions in the following sequence:
  • Happiness
  • Sadness
  • Fear
  • Anger

Babies learn to express happiness first of all. They will coo, smile and later laugh with such glee. After that they learn how to be sad for eg cry when a toy is taken from them. Then they learn to be afraid and angry.

Funny, how as we grow, we discover more and more negative emotions? Hmm.. must learn how to get back to the basics by being happy.

Toddler is discovering fear. Fear of the unknown. Even when she was quite young she learned fear when she heard loud drilling sounds that she could not identify. She would run to me, her face full of fear and hands beating her chest to indicate fear because she hadn't learned how to talk at the time. I would take the time to explain to her that what she heard was the sound of the worker drilling or the (rather loud) water pipe sound and later when she learned to talk she would repeat after me "Motopaip sond" (waterpipe sound). Thereafter we would identify sounds we heard in the night "People upstairs/downstairs", "Car horn" etc. It became a game and she was no longer afraid.

Recently, I saw her running away whenever she saw her bear video which showed a shadow dancing on the wall. I asked her why she did not like the shadow part and she merely ran further away but later that night she asked me:

Toddler: "Mummy, why I don't like the shadow part?"

MG: "Yes. Can you tell mummy why you don't like the shadow part? Are you scared?"

Toddler: (*thinking very hard and stuttering abit*) Ah.. mmm.. ah...umm "Mummy, why got nobody there?"

MG: (*lightbulb lights up*) "Oh don't worry its just a cartoon. Its just a show its not real ok?"

Toddler: "Mummy, where's the body?"

MG: (*hmmm.. how to explain this?*) "Well, its just a cartoon and they did not draw the body so thats why you don't see the body there."

Toddler: "Mummy. Its just a cartoon." (And she mumbled this at least 10X to herself and looked very pleased indeed.)

I don't think my explanation was very fantastic but it will suffice since she is happy with it. I am sooooo proud of my little girl who is smart enough to ask me these questions. And at times like this, I am really happy to be home looking after her. If I were working in addition to trying to be a mum, I think I would lack the focus, energy and time to chat with her about her fears let alone notice them in the first place.


  1. hehehe...thats Bear in the Big Blue House :P my son watches that too but i dont think he comprehend whats fear yet but if he dont like something, normally he'll just look for me and stick to me for a while till he find something else to do - like tearing my magazine pages into pieces *lol*

  2. fear..hmm..SQ haven't learn this yet..have no fear to do anything..sometimes I curious where they learn those fear, sad & angry ler? hehe...orignal from human being guaa...

  3. Hehe. Wait till she learn how to "fat lan jar" only MG will suffer. LOL. :P Must teach her be VERY patience.

  4. answer those Qs can be very fun, I look forward to it, but then later you will hear me complain why they ask so much Qs.

  5. Chrissy, tearing books and magazines seems to be a favourite passtime. Toddler still does it and baby just learned it!

    msau, "SQ haven't learn this yet..have no fear to do anything" - I think the mummy more fearful than SQ. Hehe.

    Jason, Oh! Dat one she learned adi!

    twinsmom, yah! especially when the question so hard to answer wan, give the wrong answer summore she will shake her head and demand another more satisfactory answer!

  6. Sometime i gave the wrong answer he will told everybody what mommy told him :( very the paiseh. Really dunno how to answer him will tell him to ask his daddy :P

  7. 1+2mom, sometimes ask the daddy the daddy oso dunno and daddy will say "ask mummy". Hehe.

  8. Chloe is the same with fear.. and she would cry.. if she doesn't like the noise.. that the vaccum cleaner makes .. no idea why.. and now she wouldn't go into her stroller.. and i donch know why either.

  9. dunno why they hate vacumn cleaner sounds. maybe its too loud.


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