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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Home is where the heart is

Home is where the heart is and thats where my heart is.

I am happy to be home looking after my little ones. Home to nurture, love and look after them. Even though this means, I never have time for me. Not even a little moment, there is no time for even a little solitude. Everything goes by in a rush. Eating, showering, even going to the toilet. I always have company and am interupted ever so often. When the kids are asleep, I feel torn, I want to spend some time alone or with Mr MG but I also need some sleep. I prefer not to sleep unless I am very tired.

I would very much like to have a slow, long shower, read a novel from cover to cover, watch a show from beginning to end, walk around leisurely.

I am old fashioned. I believe a woman's place is at home. But not many people believe this. Sigh! I guess much as I love to stay at home to look after the little ones, I have to return to work one day to help out with the family finances.

This is my calling, you know. I feel the happiest here, at home. I have been a Conference Manager, very exciting job which I enjoyed and a remisier, a job which I took as just a job. Its not my cup of tea. I do not enjoy it but its an easy job. Its flexible and it helps with the finances. So am I crazy to lose my license to trade? I am told that I must be crazy to give it up because its everyone's dream job. Is it?

I try my best to create a cozy, warm home but guess what? I have just been told that I am more of a burden than help. I am made to feel that I am so inefficient that if I try to do too many things, other things will colaspe or give way. I know this is not true. I am very efficient. I can feed two little mouths and my own all at the same time. I can eat my dinner, feed the kids, wash the dishes, pack the rubbish and do many other things simultaneously. I am very upset right now and the damn microwave door is stuck with my half defrosted chicken inside. I feel like screaming.......

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